Cursed By The Gods of Phone

A while ago I decided I was going to buy a nice cordless phone. Reason being is that I've gone through a whole slew of terrible phones. $19.99 phones that don't get reception more than 3 feet from the base, eBay garbage phones, crap phones on sale at the CVS. I even bought cootie covered phones off some shady person on the street. They've all sucked in their own way. And I got fed up with phone dumbinity.

So I went to Radio Shack like six months ago and I bought a "nice" phone for like $75 friggin dollars. Smack! Right on Visa! (Take that Visa! You don't know who you're messing with Visa! I'll smack you around all day if I want! And don't give me that look neither! Look away! Avert your eyes!) This Radio Shack phone looked cool and it had speaker phone on the handset (which I figure I'd like for long hold times). And it had a phonebook too. I figured if I just bought myself one nice phone then I wouldn't have to deal with sucky phones or stupid phones. And I figured it would last longer than the crap phones so it could be a good investment.

At first the phone was ok but soon I realized it has a problem. It beep/holds for no reason. Basically it makes a beep then involuntarily puts people on hold for 5 seconds every few minutes. It beeps first to give a warning that the hold is coming. Then silence. Then they can't hear me and I can't hear them for 5 seconds. It's like this.

Every time that beep goes off it actually changes my mood a little. It makes me shiver with miniberserk because I have to repeat myself or ask people to repeat themselves or explain the phone. People will tell me to just return the friggin phone. But with no box and no receipt and no nothing I know I'm heading down a hassleroad that may even lead to sending the phone back to the factory... which is far beyond my motivational capabilities. 

I've never not had an issue with phones. I've never been really happy with any phone. Battery dies too soon, poor reception, not durable enough for dropping and throwing, or just stupido phone. WHY! The only explanation is that the Gods of Phone have cursed me! Maybe because of the mean streak of phoney phone calls I made as a teen years ago? Is this your revenge, Gods of Phone?! And now for punishment I have to wander in a swamp of cordless phone torture for all eternity?  Is this your justice?!

ok bye!


PS Here's what my shiet phone looks like. Buyer beware!

(btw this is not a what's happening disguised as begging for a free phone. so please no send phone. I don't want to benefit from being a whiner that way.)