Remote Chance

So I have a friend who tells outrageous stories (aka lies) and seems to have some sort of truth oriented disorder. 

For example, he told me once that this chick friend of ours owned a rifle and he was over there recently and she shot it off her roof at the sky. I didn't even know she owned a rifle! I couldn't believe that she'd shoot it off in the city too! I asked him to swear. And he said, 'I swear...' I freaked out. I couldn't believe I didn't know she owned a rifle. And she'd shoot it off! The whole thing made me nervous...

Another example is he told me that a new gym was opening up around the corner. Told me they're only going to have two things there... freeweights and welding. That's it. Like you go and lift freeweights and then afterwards you like weld metal together to 'cool down'. I thought that sounded bizarrely awesome. I always wanted to weld. Maybe I'd exercise too. 

Both of them were not true. There was no rifle and there was no gym with welding (unfortunately). But it's usually a couple weeks before the truth about his lies comes true. Lots of stuff like that. Just messing with me stuff. Sometimes some stories which are lies are actually are truth. So I never know what to think.

Anyway, like five years ago he was over my apartment and we were watching TV. When he left, my remote control was gone. I searched my whole apartment and it was simply gone. I immediately called him up and blatantly accused him of taking my remote to make me mental. He denied it. I asked him to swear and he swore he didn't take it. I knew he did something with it! He had it last! Where'd it go? I accused him over and over of taking it. Years later too. I never let it drop. I said stuff like, "....just like you didn't steal my remote, right?" I since moved from that apartment and remember looking at the empty apartment the day of the move and thinking- See!... that remote control is definitely gone! This proved for a nonfact that he maybe stole it! I was probably somewhat doubtfully definitely sure of it!

Anyway (again), the other day he was over here (this is the same person who makes messes by the way) and after he left he called me up to ask if he left his cellphone here. I told him I hadn't seen it. The next day he asked, 'Are you sure no cellphone?' I told him it wasn't here. He was upset his cell was gone.

Anyway (a third time), days go by and yesterday I wake up around 6AM to go pee. I walk into my living room and I hear a ringing noise. It wasn't one of my rings. It was some weird ring. Sort of electronic old school sounding. So I stand there and do the 'blank-stare-hone-in-on-the-signal' thing (which ain't easy when you're half-asleep). I sort of listen around the room and finally I hear that the noise is coming from my big chair. This be my big chair:

The thing I couldn't understand was why it kept ringing. Like 10...15... 20 times before I figured out it was actually coming out of the big chair. Why did it just keep ringing? Where was voicemail? It was sort of weirdly spooky coming out of this old haunted chair.

So I start looking all around big chair. Under big chair. Under the cushion. All around big chair. Finally I jam my hand way, way down in the side of big chair toward the ringing. I feel something and yank it out... -it's the tv remote control from years ago! Back from the land of the lost! It's been in big chair the whole time! I reached down in the same spot again toward the ringing and pull out... his cellphone. The ringing was an alarm clock set to go off at 6AM.

Weirdness about this:

1. The fact that I was awake at 6AM was weird. I would have never heard the alarm otherwise.
2. The fact that the remote control was lost right in the same exact place in big chair where the cellphone was.
3. The fact that the battery on the phone was almost dead. This was probably the cellphones last chance of ever being found.
4. The fact that I found the remote before the cellphone because technically maybe the cellphone should have been found first.
5. The fact that the same person who lost my remote was sorta responsible for the remote recovery five years later.
6. That he actually wasn't lying about stealing my remote in the first place to make me mental.

I'm sure there's other coincidences in there somewhere but you get the gist. And that was that.

I did apologize to him for the initial thievery accusation.... but it doesn't mean I'm gonna be more of a sucker on future 'stories' neither. Just fyi.

ok bye!

tOdd