Roscoe Report

I know I've been a little obsessed with my dog lately but I can't help it. When it comes down to What's Happening, when you have a puppy that pretty much is what's happening. So this week I'm gonna try to open my eyes to other goings on going on and keep the dog updates to every three or four what's happenings for now on. Anyway, here's what happened this week.

(By the way, if you're sick of hearing about my dog... umm... I totally don't blame you.)

Ok here's the latest.

- Roscoe got his last round of shots. One shot went up his nose. I never saw that before. He didn't seem to like it. I didn't like seeing it either.

- Roscoe went to Puppy Orientation. It was like an hour where all the neighborhood puppies come together and play. It was fun watching him. I felt like a parent convinced that Roscoe was the cutest and smartest and most outgoing. I felt for the parents of the puppy that was hiding under the table. Then Roscoe chased some other puppy around and sort of bit her butt and the owner of the puppy shot me a look.

- Roscoe was running in my apartment and stopped to throw up on my carpet... then he wanted to eat it but I said, 'NO!'

- Roscoe is not crazy about walking on a leash. He resists and sometimes either sits down or lies down instead of walking. He's a stubborn dog. All the neighborhood people think it's cute but they don't realize how annoying it is because he does it alot. So I take out my switch (an old tv antennae) and whip him really good until he gets to walking again. I did this in front of some little kid and the kid started crying.

- I started giving Roscoe swiss cheese as a super special treat. He learned 'Sit' pretty fast due to the cheese. But then he had diarrhea later that day. So cheese taught him "Sit!" and "Diarrhea!" That was that with the cheese.

- Because of Roscoe I've been meeting more neighborhood people that I've seen before but never talked to. It's interesting talking to stoop sitters. (People who either sit on their stoop all day or bring out fold-out chairs and sit in front of the building.) They're all real old-school brooklyn.

- I was just kidding about whipping Roscoe with an old tv antennae. We're sorting out his fear/stubborness issue.

- The vet told me Roscoe should get fixed. I already feel some guilt about the idea of that but she was pretty serious about it being a good idea. I don't like talking about it in front of Roscoe.

- Roscoe pooped on the street last night for the first time around 2AM. That was awesome. I've never been so excited about dogpoop. Roscoe also met a homeless woman and was friendly to her. The homeless woman said, 'See... someone loves me... someone loves me... ' I wanted to cry. Roscoe came through and really made her night so that was cool.

- Roscoe likes to dig in my shower drain and the other day he ripped the drain cover off and ran around with it. I took it away from him and put it somewhere where he can't find it. Now I forgot where that was and I can't find it either. Now my shower drain is all exposed and I'm afraid a rat is gonna crawl out of there while I'm showering and I'll freak out and fall out of the shower and then more rats will come streaming out of there and I'll be like OMG! Roscoe help! And he'll be like Screw That! and run away and then the rats will get me....

- Roscoe doesn't know how to walk up or down steps yet. It's his back legs that don't get it. The front legs do.

- My allergies have been better but they're still not gone. Someone told me to buy an ionizer but that seems sort of scammy. I go to this site everyday to check my pollen count

Anyway, that's that for now. I'll take regular pictures of stuff this week and open my eyes beyond the puppy round these parts. Unless y'all don't care. I can sit here and write about this dopey dog all day.

ok bye!


Here's Roscoe when he refuses to go.

Here's Roscoe in front of 'Monster Mutt' (the doggie day care center)

Roscoe is learning how to play this. I'll make some recordings soon. He sucks at it right now.

Ok more to come later this week...