Pretend Rich Guy
So today I was walking Roscoe down the street. I was wearing flipflops, jeans and like sweatshirt or whatever. I stopped to look at a sort of mystery building that used to be a restaurant but I'm not sure what it is now. It's just like a house in between all these brownstones. Here tis:
When it was a restaurant they used to throw open those big doors and the place would be wide open. Late night you literally see rats running from the garbage on the curb straight into the restaurant. The place was disgusting big time. Plus the people that ran the place were dicks. One day they put up a sign that it was closed for renovations. Then a month or so later they took the sign down ...and that was that. (That's the new move when people go out of business I think)
Me and Roscoe are looking at the place and this guy walks up and starts talking to us about the building. I was curious to find out the dilly so I asked questions like what its used for and how old is it and all that. He told me it was built in 1840 and right now it's a sculpture studio downstairs and the owner lives upstairs. Then the guy tells me he's the real estate agent for the place and that he's waiting to show it to someone. He asked me if I wanted to take a quick tour. I was like, 'Sure.' (Thinking, 'Dude, look at me! I got flipflops on! My dog is dirty! It's 3PM on a Monday afternoon and I'm wandering around! Do you really think I can buy this!?' Maybe he thought I was eccentric rich or whatever. Or maybe he was just a nice guy. That's always a possibility too... I guess.
So Roscoe and I walk into this bizarro place. The ground floor is all concrete and there's weirdo people hanging out working on sculpture with masks on or whatever. One guy is hacking at something with a crowbar. It's huge inside. And super old looking. Turns out the building is an old horse stable or whatever. Upstairs there's a bedroom and hangout space and like a roof deck or whatever. It would be awesome to live there. I'd like totally move in and live there. It's fun and definitely haunted 100%! Maybe horse haunted! What's cooler than a ghost horse!?
The guy hands me some info on the place. I see on the paper that this horse stable is selling for $1.8 million dollars! Instead of my eyes bugging out or doing a spit take, I sort of nodded at the piece of paper like there was a chance that I'm interested in buying. I kind of play along asking square footage and telling him how impressed I was with the place and all that. I didn't want to say, 'Well.. actually this place is probably not perfect for me.... as I am a broke schlub who lives in someone's attic and ate fruit rollups for lunch today. ' I just sort of went along with it and pretended I was rich or whatever.
It's kind of a weird phenomenon when I get hit up in a situation where I'm totally priced out. Like if I walk into a store and say, 'How much is that chair?' and they're like, 'It's $1800... ' or whatever. I sort of nod like that's what I expected. But inside I'm like, '$1800! You gotta be kidding me! Who has $1800 for that (all of a sudden ugly) chair?!' But on the outside I play pretend. Like it wasn't shocking. It's in my price range.
I wish I could be more upfront about things. Like when the agent guy asked if I'd like to see it... I coulda said, 'Sure, but I'm not interested in buying it just so you know...' Maybe that's the way to go. But then maybe he wouldn't have shown it to me. And I really wanted to find out what was going on in there. And see what $1.875 MILLION FRICKIN DOLLARS buys around here. My lord! A horse stable! Look at this!
Anyway, that's that with that....