Traffic Superhero I Ain't
So today I was walking around in the city drinking a coke with lime (not great) and I hear an ambulance off in the distance trying to break through the traffic. The streets are packed with cars and I can see the flashing lights like a half a block away. There's confusion in the traffic. A couple cars pull over, one car goes through the light to try and create a path. But other cars don't seem to realize there is an ambulance coming. Some people are acting like dicks. Refusing to move. Cars would inch forward toward each other at the same time then brake at the same time. There's gridlock in the middle of the intersection and horns are just blaring. It's like everyone is chiming in to the point where you can barely hear the siren. I stared at the mess and wondered how this car puzzle was gonna sort itself out. I sipped my soda. No help to the situation.
Then out of nowhere some regular guy jumps into the fray. He goes into the middle of the intersection and starts to sort things out. Like a ref peeling away players after a fumble recovery he pointed at cars and stopped others. Like a real traffic cop. The drivers are doing everything he says. Within a minute he had cleared the gridlock out of the way and he got traffic moving through with swirly circular arm movements and halt signs and all that. He really got into I think. Like a natural traffic conductor who just discovered he's a natural traffic conductor.
As the ambulance finally whizzed by, I thought about how very far away I was from doing what he did. Being that Traffic Superhero guy who throws caution and laws and interference with strangers to the wind and takes care of a situation. Saving the day. Maybe actually saving someone's life. (It was an ambulance after all). I'm so far away from being that guy that the thought of actually becoming involved didn't even pop into my head.
Which might be a good thing because if I had taken control of the situation I could see me waving up an instant fenderbender followed up by directing a car over a hydrant which sprays water all over the place. Then my final move would be panicking and breaking down into indecipherable hand signals like a rookie third base coach trying to fend off a triple play when there's two extra baseballs on the field for some reason.