Mr. No-Front Teeth Was Right!
So the other day I was walking around with Roscoe and this guy who had no front teeth and seemed kinda nutty came up to me and started asking me questions about my dog. Mr. No-Front Teeth talked a little bit about other dogs in the neighborhood and gave me a warning about one in particular. He said, 'There's a lady round here who walks a brown dog with a white face. She'll tell you her dog is friendly. But her dog ain't friendly! She shouldn't be telling people her dog is friendly...It ain't! And she know it!' In my head I was like, 'Ok, Mr. No-Front Teeth... I'll keep an eye out.' I thanked Mr. No-Front Teeth and wandered away.
Anyway, tonite I'm walking Roscoe down the street and this woman and her dog are walking up the street toward us. (Roscoe always wants to say hi to all the dogs on the street but sometimes I steer him clear judging by the owners degree of projected dog friendliness. Like if an owner tightens up the leash on his dog. You want to steer clear. If they let their dog go forward you know the coast is clear. You judge by the owner really. They know when their dog is mental.) Anyway this woman said, 'Don't worry. He's friendly...' and let her dog get close to Roscoe. I let Roscoe get close to her dog. Nothing clicked in my dumb head. Roscoe is sniffing around. I start looking at her dog. It didn't look so friendly. Scrappy-like. Hmm... brown dog. Hmm.... White face... wait... a sec.... Brown dog!!! White face!!!! All of a sudden my heart sank. The woman's approaching words echoed in my head, 'Don't worrrrry... he's friennnnndly....' Holy shit!! This was the crazy lady that Mr. No-Front Teeth warned me about! Before I had a chance to yank Roscoe away the brown dog went mental. He started snarling and made a bitey move for Roscoe. Roscoe jumped away just in time. No damage done. Phew.
The woman acted surprised. She was like, 'Oh my god! He's usually not like that!!!' I'm thinking usually not is the same as sometimes is! And if that is what he sometimes does-- then 'friendly' he ain't! Then she goes on to explain, 'He's just hungry...' What?! Uch! Hungry? So that's an excuse to try and eat my dog?! Argh! You crazy with crazy hungry dog! Instead of getting into it with her to explain why she and her dog were way off, I realized it was better to just move on and away from crazy and crazy dog. So we did.
And that was that.
Thank you Mr. No-Front Teeth for your generous warning about crazy lady with crazy dickhead dog! I'm sorry I didn't listen harder and not just hardly listen.