So yesterday I went to a 4th of July barbecue and Roscoe came along. At some point he ate a slice of onion by accident and didn't like it much.
Anyway, I left the party for a bit to take Roscoe for a quick walk around the block. A cute girl from the party came along for the walk which was coolio for me. The three of us passed by a group of kids. They were probably averaging around 10 or 11 years old and there was like a dozen of them. They looked like they were like a little tough gang or something. I heard one of em say something as we passed by and they all laughed. I wasn't sure what exactly was said but I caught the word 'titties'. We just kept walking along and then a minute later all of a sudden there was a big splash at our feet! The kids through a water balloon at us! It almost hit us!
Roscoe fortunately was oblivious because he doesn't understand much of anything-- but right away I realized we were under attack! I turned to look at the kids and they were like a half block away pretending like nothing happened. The girl I was with gave them a mean stare. She was pissed. I was mad too and gave them my mean guy stare. They seemed unaffected by my mean stare. Roscoe gave a mean stare to a bug on the sidewalk. The bug seemed unaffected by his mean stare.
So I had a few choices.
1. I could tell Roscoe our secret word for 'Attack' and let him off the leash
and let him attack the kids.
(But then I remembered that I haven't taught Roscoe anything like a command for attack so that was out.)
2. I could leave Roscoe with the chickie and walk up to
the gang like I was gonna
beat them up for throwing a waterballoon and lecture them or something.
Defending the honor of the girl and of Roscoe.
(But they seemed like they were sort of tough. Like the type that would be willing to smash me in the face with a flurry of waterballoons if I tried anything. Then I'd have to go back to the party soaking wet and humiliated that I was assaulted by a ruffian gang of kids.)
3. Finish my stare and walk away from the confrontation.
(This seemed sort of wimpy and losery.)
I chose option three.
And as we walked off the girl said to me, 'You should have said something to them! They almost hit Roscoe with a water balloon!' I realized I had made the wrong choice. Here I was trying to impress a girl and I slunk away from a confrontation with 10 year old kids. The girl seemed disappointed that I went with option three. I was disappointed in me too.
When we returned to the party, I talked about what happened and there was a mixed reaction. Some people were like, 'Whatever!... Kids with water balloons on 4th of July weekend... let it go....' Others felt like, 'You should have lectured them! Now they think they can get away with stuff more!' Like I had some kind of obligation to parent them on the street or whatever.
I guess in retrospect if you're trying to impress a girl you should always go with the more confrontational option in that situation. But I didn't. My gut instinct has always been shying away from fights and stuff even if it's with a bunch of 10 year old kids. I guess I gotta work on that. But one thing is for sure though... if they had actually hit Roscoe with the water balloon I definitely would have been all over them totally. It would have been go-time, baby!
If I was really heartset on revenge, the best move would have been to head to the store, buy a pack of balloons, go to the party and fill up an arsenal of WBs, then sneak attack that gang ninja style with a splashy flurry ambush they'd never forget! Take that! And that! And here's one for the back of your head! SPLASH!
But I'm a bit too lazy for that of planning....And I'm not sure that form of retaliation would actually score me points with the chickie.