Scary Men's Fashion Creepazoid
Sorry for the no happenings here for a while. Me back now and I'll open my eyes smore when I walk around. Pictures by weeks end too.
So this isn't a great story but tis what happened the other day. I was walking along on my way to meet someone for lunch and this regular looking guy walks up to me and gives me a big hello like he knows me. I immediately go into my panic because my face-to-name (or vice versa) rolodex has been broken for a long time. If I'm not 100% sure from where I know them, I do this game in my head where I place that person in a certain place or situation. I try it on them then put a big red X over their faceif they don't fit there and try another location. Like, Old workplace? Nope. Sitting at some dinner with friends? Nope. High School? Uh uh. Family friend? Nay. This guy was weirdly familiar but I couldn't place him anywhere. But judging by the familiar hello I was sure he knew me.
Here's how it went from there:
Weird Guy: Hey! Good to see you!
(He shakes my hand. In retrospect.... gross.)
Me (like I recognize him totally): Hey! Hi!
Weird Guy: You're looking good!
(I am still rifling through my mental rolodex which is completely unalphabetical and loaded with typos.)
Weird Guy: Man, those are some cool shorts...
(Now getting suspicious that I might not know this person. Alarm bells ring. The shorts I'm wearing are old khaki pants that I cut crooked with scissors. )
Me: These? Thanks!
Weird Guy: Hey, I got some great men's fashion!
Me: You do?
(I guess he was dressed normal but I wouldn't say 'great'.)
Weird Guy: Yes! Some really great stuff!
Me: That's cool...
(Finally realizing like this guy was never in my broken rolodex.)
Weird Guy: Interested?
Me: Interested in what?
Weird Guy: Men's fashion!
Me: Umm... I guess.
Weird Guy: C'mon with me.
(Finally! It clicks in that I have no idea who this guy is. Inner alarms scream at me. And he like walks ahead of me and says, 'C'mon')
Me: Oh! Actually no thanks!
Weird Guy (sort of angry): What?
(Scared I might be toeing a tripwire of setting off a psycho.)
Me: I'm actually not interested in... men's fashion.
Weird Guy: Just take a quick look! C'mon!
Me: No really... I'm good.
I sort of run away from the situation.
Now my questions are: Number one... WTF!? But also: Where did this guy want to take me? What was his deal? Was he an aggressive Gap greeter? Did he work out of a van? Some alley way? His apartment? Does this 'sales pitch' ever work for anybody? Does anyone need men's fashion so badly to go along with him?
I was just glad that I got out of there. That I didn't become so sort of fashion victim. In any sense of the word.
My first stop was in some drug store where I bought anti-bacterial gel to rub all over my hands to get his psycho cooties off of me and continued walking down the street with avoiding eye contact with pretty much everyone for a while. At least I had an icebreaker story for lunch.