Friendly Neighborhood Chalkman
So when I walk around the neighborhood there are certain things that annoy me alot.
Like the fact that the humungo RITE AID sign down the street has been half working for like six months. So right up the side of a building at night it just says RIT A and it buzzes loud. You'd think someone might want to get on that and change a bulb or two. Or I get annoyed by the apartment complex down the street that's super lazy with their garbage and when I walk past it late at night there's rats swarming all over their trash. (I actually don't mind seeing the rats so much because there's a weird adrenaline high off seeing a rat. Sort of the same rush like bungee jumping except you don't have to do anything dumb... except get close to a rat.) Anyway, there's just lots of little things around the neighborhood that are bad news and stupid. Like the empty building around the corner that's like wide open. Or the restaurant that constantly litters the street with their take-out menu. Stuff like that. So I got an idea.
Why don't I take a big piece of sidewalk chalk around with me when I walk around at night and start patrolling the neighborhood leaving big sidewalk notes all over the place on the concrete? Like in front of the Rita Aid write 'FIX YOUR STUPID BUZZY RIT A SIGN!' Or the garbage-y apartment place write, 'RATS LIVE HERE! RATVILLE!' Right in front! Or the menu littery restaurant, 'THIS PLACE LITTERS UP OUR NEIGHBORHOOD! GROSS!' I'd be like a real annoying superhero trying to fix all that's not right around town! I could also use my chalk superpowers for good too! Like I could write, 'REALLY NICE PERSON INSIDE!' or 'GOOD HAIRCUT AND FRIENDLY!' or 'GOOD TURKEY HERE'
I guess eventually I could get a whole costume together with a piece of chalk on my chest! And a cape! And I'll jump out from behind some thing and scribble on the ground then run off into the night! And I could have a theme song!... and... and... ok I'll stop. It's not like I'm gonna do it because I'm scared of actually becoming actual crazy and this might qualify... but man I wish they'd fix that stupid giant RIT A sign! And that Rat Town down the street would get their act together! If only someone would do something about it. This sounds like a job for Chalkman!! (or maybe better as Chalkerman!! I think three syllables might be better for superhero yelling...)
But whatever, unfortunately I'm far to lazy to take on superherodom right now... Maybe in the Fall when it's a little cooler out.