The "Mute" Waiter

So when I was out in Los Angeles I was at a restaurant with some friends and the waiter walked up to the table and waved a hello to get our attention. He took out a notepad and flipped to the first page. It said something like,

"Hello. I have a voice condition. So I will communicate with you this way."

I tingled up with excitement. Something new! I was psyched to see where this was gonna go.

We said ok.

The waiter flipped the page. It said,

"Would you like to start with something to drink?"

We ordered our drinks and he approved each one with a thumbs up or head nod.

The page flipped,

"Would you like to see the specials?"

We said yes. He flipped the page and we read over the specials and asked for a couple minutes.

The page flipped,

"I'll be back soon."

We said ok.

Then he wandered off and we discussed the strangeness of the mute waiter. He seemed really very animated about everything. Grand hand gestures and big smiles and all that. It was coolio to see this guy for taking on a job that may not be ideal for a mute person. He seemed to have go-to pages like, 'No problem.' or 'Anything else?' And got along fine. I couldn't figure out what the dilly was with him. Something about him wasn't quite right (besides the muteness). I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe he was overly animated with like huge facials expressions and hand gestures or something.

Anyway, at some point a different waiter came over to bring some stuff and someone at the table asked him about our 'mute waiter'. He wanted to know the deal with the guy and his muteness or the story or whatever. The waiter sort of rolled his eyes and said, 'That guy ain't mute. He's an (quote fingers) "actor" and he has an (quote fingers) "audition" later in the week. He's just (quote fingers again) "saving his voice"....

I couldn't friggin believe it! Not even a singer or whatever! An "actor". When mute guy came back to the table I wanted to call him out for being a fake mute... but whatever. Who was I to talk?

Only in LA kids. Only in LA...

ok bye!