Kashi Makes Me Farti
So not too long ago a friend of mine came over and saw the cereal on my shelf. I had Fruity Pebbles and Crunch Berries.
She was like, 'Do you seriously eat those?'
I was like, 'Of course I eat those!'
She was like, 'Jeez there's so much sugar in them...'
And I was like, 'So?'
And she was like, 'So don't you complain about your face being too fat?'
I was like, 'Yeah so...'
And she was like, 'So maybe you shouldn't be eating so much sugar!'
And I was like, 'What does one have to do with the other?'
I've never been really clear on nutrition. And when it comes to cereal, I may still be brainwashed into thinking sugar cereals are 'healthy'. I mean they drilled into my head when I was growing up that sugar cereals had like 8 vitamins and minerals (minerals?) and how it's 'Part of this nutritious breakfast' (Part of this nutritious breakfast? yah. The bad for you part.)
Anyway, she told me I should try this stuff 'Kashi'. She said it was better for me and it wouldn't make my face fat. So I bought Kashi GoLean Crunch. And yesterday I ate two big bowls of the stuff (tasted good!) --but it really set me off fart-wise. Last night, I woke up 20x in the middle of the night to blast huge farts then go back to sleep. I think my blanket must have looked like a parachute half the night! I dutch ovened the whole room! The farts weren't stinky or whatever just booming gas-powered farts. So many! They just kept coming! GoLean Crunch? More like GoFart Crunch!
And this morning I think if I was wearing rollerskates I could have propelled my way back and forth across my apartment by fart power. And as I sit here typing this I farted like four times! Roscoe actually barked back at one of the farts! That's how loud they are! It's at a point where I'm starting to get a little nervous about my fart situation. Stop farts! Enough!..... there goes another! Stop! No mo!
Anyway, I'm sure they'll go away soon... as will Kashi.
PS. Here's a way old Trix commercial when the rabbit seemed somewhat umm... down. And kids were total a-holes.