Dear Sting and David Byrne,
I've decided its time you guys reunited with your bands before it's too late. I've done the math and figure you have a 5-year window to pull together a respectable reunion tour. After that it will be questionable whether the moment has passed. We'd be into 2010. That'd be too futurama. See the thing about it is you've both had respectable and spotty solo careers. But there's a reason why you've been able to relax into going solo and do whatever. It's because fans supported the bands and made you rich. So now its payback time for fans of The Police and Talking Heads.
I realize you might despise your bandmates. I wouldn't blame you. Stewart Copeland probably acts like jerk alot and Jerry Harrison probably talks too much about how much he knows. And I certainly wouldn't blame them for disliking you too. You know why.
Yeah maybe you made some personal promise to never go backwards. Or give the band members the satisfaction of the 'defeat' of the reunion tour. Or maybe artistically you feel it would be a betrayal. But its time to put that aside because it's not fair. It's not all about you. It's about us (me). Don't even worry about recording a new album. You don't have to taint things with a rehash. One tour is all I ask for. One year of saying thanks for the life your fans provided you. I fruckin even got your stupid box sets that I never listen to!
In fact, you two should tour together and put together a magna-megatour. The Talking Police Givin' Tour. Boom done. I've saved you time in thinking up a name and everything. (Givin' as in you give-in. And givin' as in giving back). You might think you don't owe your fans anything because you gave so much before. But its not true. A reunion tour is part of the deal when you sign up to be a giant band. If the Pixies could get back together and make a go of it so can you. The Beatles would have definitely given in at this point. Friggin Sex Pistols did it and no one even asked for that!
So it's time to pick up the phone and say yes. David, get your head out of the brazilian conga drum and come up for air. We got it! You really like South America! Got it! And Sting, your last solo album what was it called? 'Jaguar Commercial?' I forget. Sure you can fade off into the sunset slowing down until its just a metronome drum with a sleepy sax behind it. But cmon! I want something exciting in the music world! And this is all about me (us)!
Dance musical monkeys! It's time to strap on your instruments, get all tarted up and sell out for us! Enough is enough already! Stop being dicks!
This is your last chance!