I Like Chef Boyardee
I like Chef Boyardee. I can't help it. I especially like his 'mini-ravioli'. I think I like the mini ravioli the most. Sometimes people come over and make fun of me for having Chef Boyardee hanging out in my house. Because I'm a "grown-up." And they're not "good for me". But I know they secretly want to eat a can. It's like they're making fun because they're jealous that I'm friends with Chef Boyardee.
Chef Boyardee serves up a really good late night snack or he comes through in the afternoon on a Saturday. The can is not some giant portion so I don't feel gross afterwards which is nice. I just open the can and dump them out. Sometimes there's like a suction problem where the raviolis don't want to leave the can. They hang on to the side for dear ravioli life. And I have to hit the bottom of the can to try and get them all out. Sometimes that works but sometimes I have to get the fork to get them all out of the can. I don't like it when it has to come to that. Sometimes I get ravioli sauce on my knuckle. I'd prefer a clean drop out. That is my only problem with Chef Boyardee.
Also when I put them in the microwave, it's not some excruciating long microwave session. Like 4 minutes or something crazy long like that. We're talking like a minute and a half. Then they're sizzling good. Once in a while I'll add some oregano or parm cheese on top and it almost feels like cooking. I am convinced that everybody likes Chef Boyardee mini-ravioli. I don't care what anybody says. Even people who are food snobs would eat them and like them on a rainy day with a rainy movie. I think so.
Or maybe not. Maybe they're friggin gross and I'm just crooked in the head.