Knock-Off Water Arrives

I'm not a snob about anything...  but water. I take my water seriously. I'm nuts with water. Sometimes in restaurants I think I can taste soap in the water. Can't drink it. Other times chlorine. Sometimes it smells. Sometimes it might as well be pool water. I know its way off and undrinkable. It's at the point where I think I might have a slight obsession with water.

I'm slightly scared of tap water even though NYC water even though its supposed to be great. I don't trust the EPA and I have issues with the fluoride situation. So I used Brita for a while but eventually it sort of konked out and the filters seemed expensive. And I didn't like seeing little bits of carbon floating around in there sometimes. Too much maintenance with the refilling and replacing and stuff. Before that, years ago, I bought a filter that goes right on the faucet but the water would just sort of drizzle out and I felt stupid standing there for 9 minutes to fill a friggin glass of water. So now I buy the big lugger thing of water with the tap built into it and keep it in my fridge. After a long debate in my head and mouth I decided that Deer Park water is the best.

Anyway tonight I was out and I bought a bottle of water tonight at the deli. I bought one of those sport bottles of Deer Park. I took a sip and it tasted off right away. I swished it around to get the taste. It wasn't Deer Park. Perhaps it was a bad batch they snagged out of the deer park mountain stream? (yeah right). But after drinking it I realized what it was. A bottle of straight tap water. With a Deer Park label. I know it for a fact.

So I'm just letting everyone know that there's knockoff water out there. Like knockoff watches and knockoff sunglasses and watches. Now there's water. It makes sense from a criminal standpoint. How hard would it be to prove? To catch the crooks? Very, I guess. If this keeps up I might have to switch brands to something stupid-- like that water that claims it will make me smarter with brainpower vitamin J energy or whatever... just to be knockoff safe. I realize it sounds bad to be all snooty about water but it's my one snooty snoot vice.


ok bye!