Forking Knives and Spoons!*

So usually my sink is filled with knives and forks and spoons and plates and stuff. Once or twice a week I'll get on the phone with someone with the phone in my shoulder nook and annoyingly do dishes while I chat--  like I'm a housewife in a housecoat. It seems like every time I do my dishes, every single fork, knife, and spoon is in my sink. It's like a pile of them. Like a mini metal junkyard. And they'll be like three plates and a pot or whatever. I don't mind the three plates and a pot- but all the silverware makes me mental! 

So I started adding up all the reasons I take out a fork knife or spoon to try and control the problem. I stir my coffay with a spoon then throw the spoon in the sink. I have two mugs a day and I use a 2nd spoon for the second stirring (once something hits the sink it's officially dirty). Two spoons there. I give Roscoe his food three times a day. He gets 2/3rd dry food 1/3rd canned. I use a fork or knife to cut out some of his gross dog food from a can. (Some people might say it's gross that I use my forks to also scoop dog food but I don't mind) I usually eat two apples a day and I like cutting my apples with a knife. Two knifes there. If I use a knife to open something in plastic or whatever it ends up in the sink. Even plasticwrap makes a knife dirty. After cereal, dinner, spreading mustard, or whatever. I got a sink full of fruckin forks and crap!

So (ooh look three paragraphs starting with So!) I finally discovered something that fixed the problem totally! Plasticware! This stuff is great! Spoons, forks, and knives all come in one box! The cool thing is you can totally throw them out after you use them if you want! In fact when it comes to stirring coffay I only use one plastic spoon instead of two regular spoons! And sometimes I'll wash it off and use the same spoon the next day! Same with the dog food fork! I also bought "plastic plates"! Plates you can just huck in the garbage instead of letting them loiter in your sink for a friggin week! Awesome!

Not sure why it took me so long to catch on to fixing this problem with the uberobvious solution. I mean I've had plastic forks before but never really used them regularly. It's literally taken 10+ years of living alone with no dishwasher until I finally passed the plasticware in the supermarket and a lightbulb went on over my head and I grabbed a big box of those things. The upsetting part is that this realization actually made me feel really smart... that's how dumb I am sometimes.

ok bye!


PS Ok I just got flooded up with emails about how my new solution sucks for the environment. There's always something wrong with my 'brilliant' ideas! I'll try to return to the old ways and just be less lazy. At least create a nice balance.  Sorry enviros. I hear ya. Dopey me.