Bad Flea Market Shopper

On Sunday I went to a flea market. I don't go to them that often. But I like flea markets because you can look through old record bins and see albums by like Joey Travolta or some old Wonderama music thing. Then you move on to looking at old broken computers and 'word processors' and sift through a giant stack of Atari cartridges. Then you can move on to looking at old chairs and old clothes and shoes. It's all fascinating to me although I usually can't find anything I actually want to buy. When I'm considering buying something I have a rule to help me decide. The rule is: 'If I saw that thing on the street out with the trash, would I actually pick it up and take it home? If the answer is probably not. Then I probably shouldn' buy it.'

But last Sunday I did make a couple purchases. I bought two things. A rotary phone and an 'antique' coca-cola bottle opener. Both didn't work out for me. Here's why:

The Rotary Phone

I need a phone for my apartment because I only have one cordless phone and when the charge runs out I have to talk to people on speaker phone or not at all until it recharges. I try to remember every night to hang it up and charge it. But I forget a lot. And there at the flea market sitting on the ground next to an old man is a rotary phone. I pick it up and start dialing with it and thought it was fun. It brought back memories of rotary phones (surprise surprise) but it also had a soothing quality to it. I liked the noise. Sort of like a slow down in this fast paced world. Also I thought it would be cool to have a rotary phone in my apartment. The thing weighs like 10lbs. I couldn't stop dialing it. It was fun. The old man said $10. I said $5. He said $8 and got up and put it in a bag and handed it to me. I said, 'Ok. Eight.'

Anyway, now I'm stuck in my apartment with this frickin rotary phone! I've dialed out a few times and it's totally lost it's charm! It doesn't even ring. It's kind of cool and all to look at but no one has come over to see it. And to be honest, I have a feeling they're not going to be that impressed! Whatever. At least I don't have to talk to people on speaker anymore.

The 'Antique' Coca-Cola Bottle Opener

So one of these tables had all sorts of stuff all over it and this old bottle opener catches my eye. It looks like it was at one time screwed to one of those old coca-cola bottle machines. It had like two holes in it for screws. I thought that was cool. It had the coke logo. It looks like it was slightly rusted but then painted over a lot. Good quality iron and stuff. I thought maybe I would nail it into the wall by my fridge and open beers with it. I asked the lady how much. $20. $20?! No way. She told me it was an antique. I said, $10!. She said, 'Ok Ten..' like with no further haggling. I didn't like the feel of that. Anyway I get home with it and go to nail it in the wall. I line it up and put a nail through one of the holes. My walls are pretty plastery and it kind of made a mess all crumbly. But it looked kinda cool. I guess..

I looked at my new bottle opener on the wall and my rotary phone on the table and felt pretty good. I reached into the fridge. Got a beer. Go to pop it open with the opener but instead of it opening the bottle the whole friggin thing comes out of the wall along with a good amount of plaster and the nails. I look at the hole in the wall and the plaster on the floor. So pissed. I open the bottle with my friggin regular bottle opener (works fine all the time) and go sit on the couch. Grumpy.

I guess for $18 you can make worse mistakes but I really think when I got to flea markets I gotta drop the impulse buy thing. It just doesn't seem to work for me. Friggin rotary phone... what was I thinking...

ok bye!