Excel Exsucks!

I've been putting off a job I sort of have had to do for like a month and now it's finally totally due. I have to work with an Excel spreadsheet. (For the motherload toons I have to fill out these forms identifying the music I used in each of the cartoons. And there's like 8 columns of information and I did 11 toons with a bunch of songs in each and ascap ve crap blah blah)

Anyway, working with Excel gave me some hardcore work flashbacks big time. I used to have to do Excel stuff all the time because I was a salesman in one way or another for like 8 years straight. And I was always terrible with numbers (not great for a salesguy). And Excel is evil-incarnate for math dimwits.

I just never understood Excel... at all. From day one. Like if I had to take an Excel test I think I'd score like a 2% or an incomplete or just an F. But it's not totally my fault! I just think as a program... it sucks moosewang! (I secretly think Microsoft Word sucks too. It forces its formats down my throat! Don't assume you know what I want! Bulletpoints?! Why! It doesn't learn! Programs need to learn and follow what I'm doing... even if I do it stupid! Adjust!)  But with Excel its 10x worse. I super don't understand the stupid formulas and all the symbol icons at the top. There's way too many options in my face all the time! Sorting! Tables! Heading! Borders! Fx? Σ ? AZ€? =AVERAGE(LARGE(A1:A60,ROW(INDIRECT("1:10")))) What the hell are you talking about!? Parenthesis galore? And why the equals sign all the time? Conditional formatting? What?   FU!

And I don't like shifting columns or rows too! They always get uneven! And cutting and pasting anything always turns out to be a big mess or it doesn't carry everything over or it leaves everything behind. Plus if I cut and paste something from somewhere else it takes the font along with it! You think I want that? It always assumes it knows what I want! I'll tell you what I want! You don't tell me! And why can't I just cut stuff out or delete stuff? Why always with the "Clear Contents"?And I don't like how words sort of disappear in the little boxes or spill over into the next box wrecking everything. It's so easy to break the friggin 'framing' or whatever the hell it's called. And it never prints out the way I want because of the stupid portrait and landscape thing. Neither print right. I gotta print it 5x before it prints on one stupid page. Or it prints 500 pages for no reason!

Excel is clunky and stupid and a reminder to me that I'm math stupid dunce! I spit a loogie at Excel! Right in its stupid face!

CHHHHAAAaaa.... TUH!! Take that, Excel! Uh!

(now I gotta go get some windex and clean the loogie off my monitor... then get back to these stupid sheets. doh.)

F U .xls!... tuh.

ok bye!