The Sock Vacuum Mystery (+ pics for the week!)

Anyway, the other day I was vacuuming away not really paying attention to anything and I look down just in time to see my vacuum suck up a sock. I was like 'Fruck!' and I shut off the vacuum and unplugged it. I flipped the vacuum over expecting to see it all tangled up in the brush thing. But it wasn't tangled in there. Apparently it had gotten really sucked into the vacuum. I was like, 'Double fruck!' So I pop open the thing to check the dust bag. After looking through a cloud of dust I didn't see it in there either. So I was like, 'Triple fruck!' It seemed like it was somewhere in the works or something.

So then I studied the mechanics of the vacuum to trace the path of where stuff goes or whatever so I can find the sock. And I found out the vacuum isn't that complicated.

Here's how it goes:

Stuff gets sucked up through A. Then it goes up the B part and dumps into the bag which is behind the thing on C. (D is just for the hose extension thing)

So apparently my sock had to be somewhere between A and C, right? There was no way that it got into the gears of the thing or anything. The plastic part in B is clear so that's easy. Below that is a black mushy tube and I could feel there was nothing in there. And between B and C there's only like one curved tube that dumps stuff down into the bag. It wasn't in there. I double checked the bag (to be honest I don't even think the sock could fit through that hole into the bag anyway).  It wasn't in A, B or C! I double checked the route! Nothing! Poked in there with a pencil. Nothing!

So I'm like, 'Umm...where the fock is the sock!' I double checked my memory to make sure I didn't hallucinate sucking up the sock- but it wasn't a hallucination! I remember hearing it go! I turned the vacuum over and plugged it in and turned it back on expecting to smell burning rubber or have it not suck right or something but it worked totally fine. No weird smell. No lack of suction. Nothing. Everything seemed fine.

It still runs fine. The sock is simply gone.

Ok. Now I don't know alot about science stuff because I don't know alot about science stuff. And I know for a fact that I especially don't know alot about vacuums (I don't even know how to spell it according to the squiggly red line under my spelling. now fixed.). All I know is outerspace is a vacuum because they said so on Star Trek. And I know my vacuum is a vacuum because that's what it's called. So the only conclusion I can draw about my sock is that somehow outerspace vacuum and hoover vacuum crossed dimensional paths right at the exact moment my sock got sucked up and it launched my sock into the far reaches of outerspace and it floated around for a while until some Brezop spaceship with grabber claws snatched it from space and brought it inside and some brezop cargo guy with a big glorgnorg sticking off the top of his head used it as a glorgnorg warmer and that started a trend in the brezop world and soon enough all the brezops were sporting glorgnorg warmers and the brezop guy who originally started the glorgnorg warmer trend totally raked in gobs of flemflogs for his 'invention' and now he gets all the veckles he wants!

Meanwhile do I get any flemflogs for providing the glorgnorg warmer idea for the brezops? No! Not even one friggin veckle! All I get is one less sock and a stupid mystery!

ok bye!

Oh wait here are some pictures too:

I call this my 'Stick the Camera Out the Window on the Brooklyn Bridge and Take Some Pics' installation series:

Ok that's the end of that series.

Here's a skateboarder dude taking a break and lounging out.

Here's a shot from Chinatown. I used to think when I saw the last name 'Ng' on TV credits I thought it stood for 'Not Given'

I bought my nephews these spinny things that made squealy music and they also functioned as loud whistles. My brother was real psyched about that.

This guy was doing Michael Jackson in the subway. (I wasn't sure how to set the lighting on my new camera right.)

He danced around to 'Beat It'.

Then people gave him dollars. I gave him a dollar too.

These unpaired lonely shoes were on the street with no one around and no explanation.

This coolio thing was jammed in the park with no explanation either.

That dude was walking around with a plastic scythe and a he-man type sword sticking out of his backpack. He was on a mystery mission. I took this picture on the sly so he wouldn't try and chop my head off with a plastic sword.

This was there like that. Surprising that some graffiti artists can be so disrespectful. Where's the graffiti code of honor?

Supermarket window art.

This was a movie set not too far from me. I asked a dude who was in this movie and he said Katherine Zeta Jones. But I didn't see her. So I just screamed out, 'I LOVE YOU KAREN JONES!'

Here's the no parking sign for movie sets.

And that's it!

ok bye again!