Curb Your Confusiasm
All day I walk around and see signs that say 'Curb Your Dog'. Curb Your Dog! Curb Your Dog! All of a sudden it dawned on me... I'm not really exactly sure what that's supposed to mean. Curb your dog?? What the hell is that? Curb? I guess a side of me always assumed it meant like 'Control Your Dog'. Like don't let your dog bite people's legs or run crazy with foamy rabies or whatever. Control. Curb your enthusiasm type curb.
But when I see a Curb Your Dog sign posted in a flower bed I assume that's means 'Don't Pee Here. Pee elsewhere, dumb dog. Your urine isn't wanted here.' But it is also saying that I should bring my dog to the actual curb to pee or poop? If that's the case, why would that be worded so weird. I mean if you're telling me to curb the dog? Can that be used in a sentence that way if you're referring to the actual curb? Ain't that bad english? (I feel like that nerd in nyt magazine who rambles about this crap. But I wanna know! I just feel weird questioning grammar considering I still don't really even know what a preposition is.)
Anyway also, if 'curb' means they're saying take your dog to the actual sidewalk curb. Technically they don't want your dog pooping directly on the curb itself, right? They really want your dog pooping in the gutter. So shouldn't it be 'Gutter Your Dog'? On top of it, why do people care where my dog poops anyway if I'm picking it up? I dunno. I guess it's just a universal term that if you read between the lines says, 'Don't let your rabies dog bite people for no reason and then piss all over my flowers and then take a dump (and/or barf) in the middle of the sidewalk!! Ok?!'
To be honest, I think I'd appreciate that sign said all that more. It would be funny and I'd know exactly what they're talking about....