So and Sew*

So I've never sewed a button. Never ever. The last thing I did even close to sewing was a latch-hook throw pillow cover I did in like 3rd grade. It was a picture of an owl and underneath I put 'Todd'. It's still on my parents couch. But when it comes to buttons I never really have gotten around to learning. This winter a middle button popped off my big coat. So all winter long I was the guy with like the middle button missing walking around letting a breeze blow in all over the middle of my chest. Now it sits in the closet waiting for next winter when I can take it out and remember how it's missing one button. My other winter coat is missing two. It never gets worn.

My spring jacket has no buttons whatsoever (stupid on-sale jacket lost every button within the first month of me getting it and I wanted to return it but the store was too far away) But it has a zipper so I've whatevered the no buttons and just stay mad at it all the time instead. Also in my closet and it seems like I have 3 pairs of shorts and 3 pair of pants missing the main waist button. (Which is right? Pair or pairs? Three pairs of shorts seems right for shorts. But three pair of pants seem right for pants. I dunno. It doesn't seem right that it should be a pair at all. I mean is each leg a 'pant'?) Anyway, I sometimes still wear the no-button pants or shorts with a belt to compensate for lack of button-- but that's not always 100% effective because my zipper will fall down alot and that's a bad look. I also have a few shirts with popped buttons.

I know sewing a button shouldn't seem like such a big deal and I'm not sure why I'm so against it. But now that my favorite clothes are pretty much all missing at least one button it's time to deal with it. So why not just sew em?

Here are some reasons off the top of my head:

1. I don't know how.
2. I don't have needle or thread.
3. I don't have buttons nor know where to get buttons.
4. I'd have to find all different colors of thread and buttons for different things and match everything up and that's a whole job.
5. I know I'll stab my finger.
6. It's like totally a girlie job.
7. Disregard #6 if you're offended. (Also disregard what I say later because I don't mean either.)
8. Because I'm a beginner with sewing buttons I probably won't do it right the first time out and they'll fall off and I'll be tripley pissed.
9. It seems easier to just take them to a place and have them do it.

So why don't I just bring it all to the place and have them do it?

1. I don't know how much it costs but I bet I'll feel ripped off.
2. It's a whole project actually gathering up all the stuff missing buttons and bringing em there.
3. Every time I get close to doing bringing the clothes in... I get closer to going out and buying thread and buttons and finally learning instead (which also opens up a can of worms of other 'projects' that I'm not doing. So I do none).
4. I don't need the buttons that bad. I mean the belt thing does sort of work ok.
5. Obviously I'm disturbingly lazy when it comes down to it.

Sew anyway, I guess I realize now that the amount of time it took me to write this thing about not sewing I could have sewed (sewn?) on a couple of buttons. Or at least learned how. Or gone and bought needle and thread. But whatever! I have a new strategy! Next time I have a girl friend over I'm gonna hit her up and see if she'll sew em for me! Bet on her prehistoric sewing instincts to kick in and let her take care of it! I know girls love sewing! (Sewing is like flowers for girls except work oriented!) so it should be no big deal! So that's what I'll do! Done and done!

And if not done and done...  I'll just bring them home for mommy.

ok bye!


PS. Already got a bunch of emails calling me a sexist jerk. I'm not really a sexist jerk. Just bustin girl chops is all. Have mercy.