The Day Shift

Ok this is extra long and babbily and stuff so sorry bout all the words. There are pictures tho!


So this morning I went to dog park with Roscoe. I took my wallet, camera, cellphone, mp3 player, doggie bags, doggie treats, water, and money. Dog park was fun. Roscoe went toe-to-toe with a Saint Bernard so after dog park he was pretty beat. When I got back to my apartment front door I patted down all my pockets for my keys. No friggin keys!!!! NOO!!! NOT AGAIN! I knew right away that I was locked out because I remember putting them down before I left and reminding myself not to forget them when I put them down and I knew right away I totally forgot to not forget totally. I buzzed by landlord but no one was home. Doh. After patting myself down quatriple confirming that I was indeed locked out I rolled my eyes at myself  I couldn't believe I left the keys inside... again!

At this point Roscoe was pissed. He didn't understand why we weren't just going inside. We were at the door! He had water to drink and a toilet to snuggle up against! What was the hold up? I tried to explain to him that we were locked out but he doesn't understand stuff like because he has certain limitations conceptualbrainially. I was pissed too because I blocked out the whole day just to stay inside today and catch up on stuff (aka do next to nothing) but now I had a whole situation! I called my landlord from my cellphone. No answer. I called a friend of mine who has my keys for when I get locked out. No answer. I decided I was going to have to get in ninja style again (done it twice since I've been here). Ninja style is: Buzz the neighbor. Go through their ground floor apartment. Into their backyard. Over their back fence. Into my landlords backyard. Up the fire escape ladders four stories (scary). Then somersault into my apartment through the back window. But the neighbor wasn't home either. Ninja style wasn't an option!

My day of doing next to nothing was going off the rails! I wanted in! A locksmith was out of the question (this kind of front door lock can't be picked only 'broken' and its expensive. I learned this from the last time I got locked out). So I sat on my stoop cursing myself for being such a dope. Then remembered my parents have a set of keys to my apartment! They live outside of the city. I called em up and luckily they were home. I asked them how they felt about coming in with keys because I was locked out. They made fun of me for a while- but said they'd come in with my keys.

So I sat on my stoop for an hour with Roscoe and waited for them. I listened to my mp3 player then put it away when it konked out. I played the demo version of Bejeweled on my cell till I got bored. I spaced out. I called some friends to bug them but no one was around so I left goofball messages. Then I laid down to take a nap but an ant crawled on my head and I stopped laying down. I was totally bored. So was Roscoe.

OK! Here's where the day shifted got 3x more interesting! Just because I locked myself out! Here's why:

1. I planned on eating lunch by myself (tuna and doritos on pita) but instead I had a coolio good lunch with my parents and caught up on stuff. I haven't seen them in a little while so that worked out really well. We had a good time at a lunch. And they got to see Roscoe too so it all worked out. Thanks mom and dad!

2. Then after lunch, one of the friends returned my goofball message from before. He said he had a friend who could get us into an afternoon Tribeca Film Festival special event thingee where Elvis Costello was playing for film dork muggidie mucks! I was like, 'No way!' (I'm a big Elvis fan) So I went to that. I was psyched! My day of nothing was already turning coolio!

Here's a picture of the king:

Also I used my digital camera to take a video with sound (surprisingly good quality! surprisingly big head in the way!)

Download it here!

It was way cool seeing Elvis in a small room. I could have totally yelled 'PENIS!' and he would have totally heard! Elvis played the whole set with this guy Allen Toussaint (who apparently is a big piano man). They just recorded an
album in New Orleans to help out down there. Plus, there was an open bar for the muggidies! So I had some drinks! Oh! Also, I saw Michael McKean there! I could have totally punched him in the face if I wanted to and called him a penis. I didn't wanna... but I totally coulda!

3. Anyway, after Elvis we decided to go stare at David Blaire in the fishbowl. So we got on the subway and headed on up. It was a mobscene at Lincoln Center. A giant crowd was standing around asking why he's doing it or talking about how it was dumb or how it was a trick or how it's not a big deal. Meanwhile there was a line a mile long just to walk up the plank and look at the 'jerk in the water'. I thought the whole thing was pretty friggin excellent. I took lots of pictures and stuff! Here they go:

First things first! Dog in a truck!!!!

Ok now that we got that out of the way...

There was the David Blaine! Coolio!

You had to wait on a super long line to stand up close like that. And I was like screw that. So we went around the side.

Man there were alot of people there... everyone was just staring. So people seemed like they'd been there for a realllly long time. Too long.

We got a decent view from around the side. Apparently we just missed him standing up.... he was just lying there like a lox.

So we watched the guys clean the outside of the bowl and Blaine just sat on his butt... Lazy!

I walked around it and wanted to throw a rock and wake him up.... I think alot of people wanted to throw rocks.


Ah whatever. 15 minutes later I realized we were standing there watching a guy sleep underwater.
(btw put any doubts away about him 'really being in there' or not. he's in there. no doubt.)

ANYWAY, the moral of the story is... if I hadn't forgotten my keys....

1. I wouldn't have gotten together with my parents which was really coolio and overdue.
2. I wouldn't have called my friend who ended up hooking us up to see Elvis Costello all fancy like. (+open bar!)
3. And I wouldn't have gone to see stupid cool Blaine in the bubble.

So things really worked out for the best today just because I was stupid about my keys. Sure I didn't get stuff done that I wanted to get done but that stuff can wait. Plus Roscoe got to appreciate sleeping next to the toilet more extra than he would have if we'd gone in right away. So it was win win all around...

But if I lock myself out one more friggin time I'm gonna go mental on myself! Karate-style!!!

ok bye!