Dear Cereal Producers of the United States of America,
Does this look familiar?
It's a box of your product. Cereal. Notice anything else? Look what's hanging out of it. Do you see how the bag is badly ripped open? Do you know the bad rip caused a whole bunch of your bunches of oats to spill all over my floor when I tried to simply pour a bunch of them in a bowl?
I think this picture is familiar to alot of us goofball Americans who can't seem to master how to open the stupid plastic bags in your cereal boxes! I mean seriously, what's the deal with the bad rip open situation? You'd think it would be like potato chip bags in there. But they're not. They don't rip apart like that. There's no satisfying pop-open. There's no confidence in pulling as hard as you can. I have no trust in these bags. So I try different techniques. Ripping open from a corner. Tearing from the side. Pulling the middle apart. But more often then not it's a no-go! So then I end up getting frustrated and we end up with this kind of ugly situation!!
You're last on the list cereal people! Last to improve your packaging so it's not stupid and inconvenient! The Can people finally figured out the thing about the finger pull-tab! The local deli cares enough to give turkey in a ziplocky bag now! Or how bout the juice people who finally provided the screwoff spout option on the side thing- after years of abuse! What's your deal cereal people?! Is there some kind of secret here I should be aware of when opening your bag? Because I can't seem to master it. I feel I do just as good a job as a friggin monkey would do trying to get into it...
Sure, you can say that I should be more patient. And just relax and open it slowly. Take my time. Maybe get scissors. Figure it out. Relax... How bout, No! I just want my cereal! I'm not going to relax! Relax?!? No way! It's like the type of thing when you're all worked up and angry and someone puts a hand on your shoulder and asks you to 'Please calm down...' I'M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN! I WANT THIS FIXED! I WANT AN ZIPLOC BAG IN MY F'IN CEREAL BOXES NOW! OR AT LEAST SOME SORT OF NOTCH TAKEN OUT OF THE BAG SO IT'S EASY OPEN! I'M SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT YOU CEREAL F**KERS! YOUR PRODUCT IS A RIP-OFF AS IS! YOU KNOW THIS IS A PROBLEM! NOW FIX IT! FIX IT NOW! OR I'M GONNA.... I'M GONNA!!!! I'm gonna.... umm... I don't know.... keep spilling cereal all over my floor till you do... or something....
BUT DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!! I SAY THIS TO YOU!!!.... Please?