Winged Monkey #3
I was watching a movie the other night and I started thinking about why I'm not a movie star. I thought that maybe it was the stage fright thing. But that can be something I could fix I guess. Then I thought maybe it was the fact that I can't memorize anything for more than a minute or so. But I don't think movie stars really need to memorize anything. Then I decided the reason I'm not a movie star is probably because I have never been on an audition nor pursued acting in any way. Then I thought... well why didn't I do that? Maybe I could be a movie star right now. Lazing around in a pool and eating shrimp and firing the gardener.
Then I remembered when my theatrical aspirations got derailed.
Back in 5th grade, my elementary school was putting on a play. The Wizard of Oz. I decided I wanted to be the Wizard. I put on this funny booming voice and spoke very big. I remember the kids digged my wizard totally and so did my teacher. I had this wizard thing totally pegged. I got into the role. A bunch of other kids tried out to be wizard but eventually they were weeded out and it came down to me and this girl. She was pretty and popular. One of us was going to be the Wizard. Her wizarding was ok I guess. But I remember knowing for a fact that my wizard kicked ass over her wizard. Up and down the street. 2x. She would flub lines and I was smooth as silk, baby. I was a lock! I had the voice! Finally when final casting was announced I found out I wasn't the wizard. This girl got picked to be wizard over me! I was stunned! My wizard was better by far! How the fuck could she be the frickin wizard!? I was the goddamn wizard! But the 'director' decided to mix it up a bit by casting a girl as the wizard or something. He totally put aside the fact that I was a better wizard! (probably)
Anyway, by this time all the big roles were cast and I had to take what was left. Winged Monkey #3. There was the main monkey who spoke directly with the witch and he had three flunky monkeys flapping their wings behind him as he chatted it up with the witch. He got to wear a gold vest to show he was in charge. I was dressed like the other three monkeys! We had nothing to do but hang out behind him and flap flap! I wasn't even Winged Monkey #1. I was #3. I was an inch from being frickin wizard and now I was backing up Mr. Fancy Gold Vest being his #3 bitchboy monkey! I remember being stunned during the show. Backstage I had to listen to this girl flub up being wizard while I waited for my cue to follow goldvest out for another witch chitchat. It was devastating because I knew I was a better wizard! I would have been a better goldvest at least! But the 'system' turned on me. It wasn't about who was better! It was about who had the right 'look' for the moment and who could put a spin on things. Who cared that she sucked!
After that I dropped out of the spotlight and ended up behind it. I became an AV geek turning my back on acting as it was obviously corrupted and screwed up. A-V became my O-Z. I ran the sound. I ran the lights. I hooked up stuff! It was my world! And I was the frickin Wizard!
Winged Monkey #3... bastards...