Oregano, Plutonium, and Chester A. Arthur
So like I wasn't the best student growing up. In fact I pretty much sucked. My brain couldn't remember stuff for very long and I wasn't that interested in making it stick in there anyway. A bad combo for "education". Anyway, there's are a few things that always stuck with me:
I remember back in like 4th grade everyone had to write a report on a spice.We picked the spice assignments out of a hat. I remember wanting a cool spice but then I remember not knowing exactly what spice would qualify as "cool". They all sound pretty cool when it comes down to it. Except cumin, of course. The most uncool spice. Tarragon also sucks btw. Anyway, I got oregano! And was pretty psyched about that. It wasn't too common like garlic nor too wacked-out stupid like celery seed. I wrote up my report learning about spice trades and all that from the encyclopedia brittanica-- and I had to include some real oregano in my presentation so all the kids could smell it or something. Since that day, I've always felt close to oregano. Like it's my spice. The smell reminds me of 4th grade. I don't really remember anything about oregano education-wise but any time oregano comes up in conversation... the back of my head reminds me of our secret spicy relationship.
Around 8th grade all the kids in class got the assignment to do an element from the periodic table. I remember as they were being handed out I was nervous that I was gonna get a sucky lame element like cobalt or holmium or whatever. Lame! Well that day I hit the grand friggin slam on the periodic table! Friggin plutonium! I remember being the friggin coolest kid in science that day by far. Everyone wanted explode-y plutone-y! Most elements suck! Yeah, some kid could come up to me like with his hydrogen acting all big like he's the grand daddy of elements. Or maybe the gold guy might act all cool and snazzy. But everyone in class knew that I had the most asskicking element on that whole dang chart!!!! Hands down! Granted, I don't remember anything about what the deal with plutonium is really- although it's PU on the chart. That was cool too at the time! P U! F U!
3. Chester A. Arthur
Same deal as the above. Everyone got a president to write about. We picked these out of a hat or whatever and I remember opening my piece of paper and being all psyched up. Kennedy? Roosevelt? Adams? No. Not even close. I got Chester A. Arthur. I remember thinking, "WTF! I thought we were doing Presidents?! Who was this guy? Sounds like he owns a fried chicken shack or something!" Some kid came up to me with like Lincoln (Lincoln!) and was like, 'Hey! Who'd you get?' Imagine the humiliation when I had to say Ummm... I got Chester... (cough) Chester A. Arthur...' How could I say that with any kind of pride?! No one even heard of the dude! But to this day whenever there's an obscure question about an old President on Jeopardy or whatever I secretly hope it's going to be Chester A. Arthur. I'll sometimes shout it out for the hell of it to keep his name alive. It's never the right answer though...
But hey, two out of three ain't bad!
(Apologies to the descendants of President Arthur)