The Key to Being a Jerk*
So this past Friday I agreed to drive out to Ikea with a friend of mine and help her lift some heavy things she needed to buy. Plus I'd pick up some fun Ikea crap too. We rented a Zipcar (Around these parts there's a service called zipcar and you can rent a car or van by the hour. Like $10-$12 an hour type thing. A really good dealio for quick trips. Free gas. They keep the zipcars in parking garages all around the city.) Anyway, I rented a van for the trip from 11-3 on Friday and we headed on out. I noticed when I made the reservation that someone would be using the van when I returned it at 3. And it's a zipcar dickmove to show up late etc so I was very conscious to make sure I got the van back on time.
The van I got was a Toyota Sienna and it was alot of fun to drive. It reminded me of my days of a van driver when I worked for a fruit stand and later when I drove for Bloomingdales. Sort of nostalgiafied me. And it was nice getting out of town for the day. Ikea was fun. We wandered around. I rode the cart. Threw things. Bought crap. Loaded the van. Ate swedish meatballs. Then drove to her apartment to unload her stuff. Then I went back to my place. Unloaded my stuff. Grabbed Roscoe. Threw him in the van. And headed to the garage to return the van.
When I pulled up to the garage it was like 3:00 on the dot. Made it just in time! I was proud of myself for doing things so right and I saw a woman was waiting to take the van. I remember thinking in my head all A-Team Hannibal, 'I love it when a plan comes together...' I felt responsible. I wasn't late. The parking garage was all backed up so the attendant told me to just leave it double parked. No problem. I got out of the van and headed down the street with Roscoe toward dog park.
Before we even got there there was a serious downpour. Like the skies totally opened up. Total monsoony. We ducked out of the rain for a while in stores and stuff and then toughed it out and headed all the way home. By the time I got in the door I was sopped. It was about 4:30. I start peeling off my drenched clothes and taking stuff out of my pockets. Soaked wallet. Wet MP3 player. Wet money. And, what the? Umm.... Oh shit! Mysterious keys! Oh no! I still had the keys to the van. They were supposed to be left IN the van...
I stared at them doing the mental math in my head to add up what me still having the keys actually meant. I checked my messages and there were like 5 messages from Zipcar all alarmed and panicked that I still had the keys! They said the car was still double parked in the middle of Montague Street and the woman with the 3:00 reservation was still waiting at the garage for me to return with the keys. An hour and a half later! I freaked out and called the garage. I told the parking guy I was the jerk who took the keys. He basically said, 'You need to bring them here. Fast...' And hung up.
The garage is like a mile away. The rain was coming down so hard it was literally loud outside. I felt really bad and wanted to get there as fast as possible. So I strapped on my rollerblades that I haven't been on in like a year. Plopped the helmet on my head. And rollerbladed in the super pouring rain to the garage. It was sort of fun blading in the rain although I was totally scared I was going to wipe out...
When I pulled up to the garage looking like a big wet rollerbladed gorked-out douchebag, there were two people standing there. A soaking wet garage attendant and a very pissed off looking woman. The conversation went pretty much like this (I was like a deer in headlights):
Me: I can't even begin to say how gigantically sorry I am... I can't believe I...
Woman: Forget it. I missed my appointment today. It's too late. I had to reschedule for next week. And I have to rearrange everything...
Parking Guy: You left the car double parked!
Woman: You don't know what this appointment today meant...
Me: I can't believe Zipcar doesn't leave two sets of keys!
Parking Guy: We had to move the van...In the rain. On jacks...
Me: Jacks?
Parking Guy: We moved it on jacks! Look at me! Soaked!
Me: I don't...
Woman: Next week is so screwed for me now! You have no idea....
Parking Guy: Jacks!
Me: I'm so sorry I don't know what to say. I don't know what moving a car on jacks means but I gotta imagine...
Parking Guy: And while we were moving the car one car hit another car!
Woman: Yeah there was also an car accident. A fender bender.
Parking Guy: Someone tried to go around too fast...
Me: They hit the van!?
Parking Guy: No. Some lady hit a parked car while going around.
Woman: The police came...
Me: Oh my god...The police? I... I....
Parking Guy: I am done talking with you.
Woman: Me too.
Me: Listen let me take your info. I don't have my wallet on me but I want to do something for both of you...
Parking Guy: Don't worry about it. It's fine. But I'm here Monday through Friday.
Woman: Here's my card....
She handed me her card and walked over to say goodbye to the parking guy. The woman and parking guy seemed to really bond over this because they hugged and kissed goodbye on the cheek. I sort of thought that was sweet. I could tell deep down they really helped each other through the situation and liked eachother alot. I took her card and promised the parking guy that I'd be back on Monday with something for him. I couldn't believe how wrong it all went. I screwed up her day. His day. And two anonymous people who had a friggin fenderbender! All because of me stupidly taking keys!
I said my final apology and rollerslunked off into the pouring rain feeling like a wet irresponsible schmuck-- a wet irresponsible schmuck who just an hour and half before was a bone dry responsible dude and all around nice guy.
Oh well..
ok bye!
tOdd
**The next day I swung by the parking garage with Roscoe and gave the parking guy $25. He was really nice about it and refused the tip twice until I forced it on him. For the lady I had her email address from her card and sent her a gift certificate to amazon for $25 as well. I haven't heard back from her or from zipcar with my ranty email about having spare keys. I retro maybe I was cheap about it but I felt I just had to do something asap and I had apologized for an honest mistake. I thought about planning something more extravagant but I woulda dropped the ball I'm sure....