Hat Hope Hip Hopped
I joke around sometimes about having a big head but unfortunately it's really not a joke. My head is realllly big. In pictures when I'm standing next to people it looks like my head was photoshopped out and enlarged and stuck back on my head. But unfortunately it's photoshopped and enlarged in reality by God or whoever. And when I look at my profile it looks like my head is too long. Like an alien head. It just goes back too far. Being bald adds to the non-illusion too. Plus I can literally put a glass of water on top of my head and don't even have to like work to balance it. Because it's flat on top like a table top. So when I wear hats they're always at the max or the last notch or whatever. For the most part I can't find new hats at all because they're too small on my head. They look like little kid caps.
I have basically one big baseball hat right now that fits and I'm always on the lookout for another. For years it's been a pain. I'll go into a store looking for a hat and it's the same struggle as me walking into a shoe store and saying I have size 30 feet. They got nothing for us freaks. I'm always hoping I'll get lucky and some XXL hat will be there for me but most hats are too small or they have that flat front billboard thing that makes my head look bigger than ever. But recently something has changed 'fashion-wise' with baseball hats.
I'll be wandering down the street and see like a Foot Locker or whatever and I figure I'd roll the dice and go inside and look for a hat. I don't care if it says friggin NY Islanders on it or whatever. If it fits and looks normal I'm buying it. But now in sporting good stores there aren't any 'normal' hats anymore! All the hats are like super-duper sized! Like spaghetti pots! XXXXXL! For hiphoppy sideways or whatever! (Yes, I realize this might be the most 'old man' post I've ever written.) But dags! These hats are huge! Even on my head! And they're all like that! I'm not cool enough to wear some cool teen hat like that!
I want to ask the store clerk if they have like 'normal' hats but I'm embarrassed because it sounds so old manny. Like I'm asking for plaid pants or loafers with tassles. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places but all sporting good stores have ditched normal sized hats for the giant ones. Which really sucks for me because you'd figure that these giant hats would be perfect to cover my dome. Like they'd fit snug or whatever. But nay.
So I guess I'll just keep my eyes open and wear my old baseball hat until things calm down in the hat world.... or maybe I should just get myself a big fedora hat and just get it over with.