My IM Door Closes

Since the dawn of my internet I've been on AOL Instant Messenger.

I was super amazed by the technology when I first tried it. The very first IM was stunning. Twas way fun too! The bloop bleep blooping back and forth. Coolio! Yeah there was that initial creepy thing about it knowing when people are online or not. But whatever! I loved it and virtually grew up with IM.  ;-). I dug the evolution of sending photos or file transfer. Dabbled in Buddy Icon stupidity. Dealt with the weird feeling of blocking or unblocking... or :-( being blocked. Stared at mysterious Buddy Names that I can't even place who anymore. The guilt of accidentally abandoning someone who falls out of sight under the task bar. For the most part, I've appreciated the comfort of that list of people in the corner of my machine for all these years-- and I always welcomed the easy distraction... usually accepting the blinking invitation to procrastination.

But I've known for a long time that IM is bad for me. It's way too easy. Me saying hello to someone could lead to an hour of jibber jabber about nothing. Lots of windows at once is just me juggling various procrastinatoriented conversations. It's unnaturally easy access both ways. Communicating on IM has hazards too. Miscommunication. Unnecessary fights. Having to ignore someone and feeling a twang of guilt of leaving that flashing window flashing. The dreaded typing in the 'wrong' window. And questioning the etiquette of shutting off without saying goodbye to someone you had a conversation with earlier. With all the mental gunk that goes along with IM I've found myself going on it less and less.

Tonight I took the bold step of deleting AOL IM off my computer altogether (Apologies to all IM friends out there totally). It felt weird. I'm not sure if I've ever done that. It's just been a running background presence on my computer for over a decade. But tonight I decided that the internet and email are way too much for me as is-- and there's plenty of distractions out there for someone as distractinatorily susceptible as I am. Having one less thing going (even if it's just running in the background) might be healthy for me.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to avoid the lure of a re-installation but I'm going to try. The co-dependency on IM may run deeper than I think- but I'm sort of convinced that IM is the laziest clunky form of communication and its definitely has made me lazier to boot. For someone as lazy as me IM feels like an active lazilorator. If I really want to make the effort to communicate with a friend, I can always shoot em an email or maybe make the grand effort to just picking up the friggin phone. How hard is that? Being off IM is already making me less lazy....

Although it already feels a bit lonely to not have someone at my fingertips as I type this -- I'm resisting the temptation to reinstall and spend 20 minutes going all like:

Me: Sup?

IM Pal27: Nuttin.

Me: Cool.

IM Pal27: Did it rain there?

Me: Yeah.

IM Pal27: Does your dog smell when that shit happesn?

Me: What shit?

IM Pal27: Rain

Me: Oh! Yeah sorta

IM Pal27: Cool

Me: Not really

IM Pal27: Check this out~!

Me: I saw that a year ago...

IM Pal27: You did??! How long has it been outfor?

Me: I guess at least a year. maybe two. where you been?

IM Pal27: She friggin gets so fuked up!!!!

Me: Oh dude totally! I love the news peoples reaction :-)

IM Pal27: Totally!!!!!

Me: cool

IM Pal27: Wht did you do toniote?

Me: Nothing really. i gotta clean up here. my place is messd up.

IM Pal27: cool

Me: So what else is going on?

IM Pal27: you talk to chris?

Me: About what?

IM Pal27: Nothing. Just haven't heard from him in a whlie

Me: I think he was away.

IM Pal27: Where at?

Me: texas maybe. Or maybe fla. I dunno

IM Pal27: tex text. word. hey is he still with that chick?

Me: I don't know I heard she was moving or something?

IM Pal27: I hadn't heard that.

Me: I heard something about that. I might be thinking of someone else.

IM Pal27: cool

BOngo43: DUDDEEE!!!!!

Me: Sup?

BOngo43: what you doin?

IM Pal27: you still there?

ETC.... etc... etc... wtf lol rofl ttyl!!!

And adios amigo!

ok bye!

(insert doorslam noise in your head now)