Simply Can't Follow Instructions

So my nephews were here a couple weeks ago and one of them ripped my toilet paper holder off of the wall. It was just stuck to the wall not screwed in. So finally while I was out yesterday (in an unbelievable burst of memory) I remembered to actually buy a new holder thing.  I bought the same one and brought it home and ripped the package open. The backing on it were two little squares which I assumed to be tape. I kept pulling at the backing thinking I was peeling off the stuff covering the tape. It was so stuck on there! Finally it tore it off and all that was under it was like ripped paper. I was like wtf? I threw it on the ground and finally looked at the instructions that came along with it and found out that it wasn't tape on the back. It was glue. I needed to add water and mush it around to get the glue going. But then it was too late. I had already ruined it. The instructions were like three steps.

It made me realize that I never read frickin instructions. I always assume that somehow I magically know everything. I'm like, 'What could the instructions tell me that I don't already know or can't figure out in like 2 seconds...?' I don't know... how bout the umm..the actual instructions? 

It's always a last resort with the instructions. I do it with driving directions too. When someone tells me directions over the phone I usually write them down in a scrawly scribble code that I don't understand or sometimes I just draw out the directions in picture form with arrows and stuff. When I finally get lost (which is always) and try to decipher what I wrote I get all mad at me for not writing things down clearly- like I'm blaming someone else.

I think I need instructions on how to get organized in general but I wouldn't read them anyway. I would just assume I already know. Cause I know everything.

ok bye!


PS. Someone wrote in and told me if I hold the page button down on my Radio Shack phone for a few seconds- it will keep beeping and beeping. If only I had read the frickin instructions... Apologies to radio shack even tho I don't see why anyone would ever want it to beep just three times.