Ok as a guy living on his own, am I really responsible to act formally socially responsible?
Like if a friend of mine has a baby, is it really expected of me to send a baby gift? I guess so technically. And I have on occasion... for a first kid. But I think the couple is more surprised to see a gift than to not. What about a second baby? Third? Gifts every time? From me? Don't get me wrong, I think new babies are coolio but the gift thing really only happens for the first child. Once you go into two and three it's like forget it. Congrats on the kid and all totally but really. Been there done that. Give your new bundle the old handmedown toy from the first kid. Done and done. Buying baby gifts really seems like a chick thing to do anyway. What am I gonna do shuffle off to Baby Gap and pick out a onesie?
And am I really expected to attend children's birthday parties for my friend's kids? I appreciate the invitations and all but I kind of get plenty of kids partyness with my niece and nephews. Am I expected to ever go to friend's kids bday parties? Or is inviting me just sort of obligatory in a way? I mean if anything I think my big bald head walking in all by himself drinking beer the whole time and participating in the moon walk jumpy thing would just make the other parents worry? No?
I do like seeing my friends kids on occasion sure and I'm proud for them and all that. But I sort of feel like I have a get out of jail free card from "couple people" responsibilities. Some of you chicks out there might think I'm a selfish jerk but...ask yourself this question... if your husband was on his own... what do you think he'd be like if his friends had a new kid? Can you really see him dealing with Anne Geddes crap on his own? C'mon...
There's other stuff too! Like once I was at my brother's house and I saw that his mantle was like totally covered in anniversary cards from friends and family! I was sort of stunned. I don't really know when their anniversary is.. How could I? I know the month sorta. And I looked at that mantle sideways like... uh oh... was I supposed to do something there? But I guarantee every one of those cards was sent from chicks or chick representatives. I guess I could start filling up my calendar with stuff to remember but how can I remember to do something like that?! (Are you chicks annoyed yet over my overuse of 'chick'?)
I feel like most of my bachelor type guy friends are in the same boat. Slight guilt over being irresponsible toward married friends but knowing that it's really not expected and appreciating it totally. (It's not that it's all gravy y'know! Try remembering the holidays when you're single!) Yadda maybe I'm a schlub and should change my ways. Be better to my friends kids. Buy people baby gifts, remember birthdays, go to kids parties. Be responsible. But that would sort of defeat the purpose..
And if I really start making that change and actively doing things... then I'll probably start by doing it only for some friends and not other friends depending on whatever. And that'd feels like picking favorites... which strikes me as extra rude.