So last night I was on the phone with my dad talking bout whatever and all of a sudden he got like all serious. He said, 'Your mother and I have noticed something about you and didn't know if we should say anything or not.' I was like, 'What?' My dad said, 'We just don't want you to take it the wrong way or get upset or whatever.'
At this point my mind is like searching through my rolodex of faults and problems and wondering what it was that was coming. Too obsessed with my dog!? Drinking too much beer?! I look fatter than ever? Acting crazy in general!? Do I look bad?! Does something about me look bad!? Did I say something awful recently?! What! What is it?!
My dad said, 'Well last time we had brunch we both noticed it...' I was like, 'WHAT IS IT!' My dad said, 'Your mother didn't think I should even say anything about it....' I was like, 'WHAT IS IT!!!' My dad said, '.....we've noticed you say the word 'like' a tremendous amount. It's almost every other word. And it's noticeable.'
At first I was totally relieved. I've known for a while that I like have a problem with like. I guess I always have. And I'm pretty casual with the way I speak so I dismissed it as a generational thing or whatever. I was like... everyone says like! Right? But the more I thought about it the more I started to get concerned. I mean how bad could my like be if my dad had to say something about my like. Was my like like totally out of control? And was it getting worse?
So I called up some friends to ask them if they noticed that I say like too much. The first one said that I didn't and she like never noticed. The second one told me that everyone says like alot so who knows. But the third person said, 'Yeah I notice but I don't think anything of it...' Notice? What?! Notice!! That means I have a problem! That I'm above and beyond in likeness usage! And as I spoke on the phone I started to listen for my likes and I heard how they were like all over the road! (I sound like I'm like 14 years old?) I just had a meeting yesterday for some freelance work! Was I liking it up all over the place sounding like a dope!? I must have been!
Anyway, I'm gonna like keep an eye on my likes because if my likes are like so bad that my dad says something to me I think they must be way over the top. And when I like listen to how I talk now I can hear that my speech is like fairly infested with likes.
So big thanks to my dad for being honest with me about my problem. I'm gonna try to say like less much now and try to talk gooderer.