Late Night Pee Wilding

So last night I woke up around 4AM and I had to pee. I shuffled over to the bathroom (stepping over Roscoe who was asleep next to the couch) and stood in front of the toilet. I didn't even turn on the light because I didn't want to deal with being temporarily blinded. It was almost pitch black. I took out the wiener and started whizzing away. I'm pretty much asleep on my feet and barely paying attention. Everything is going fine but I noticed by the sound of the pee stream that I wasn't peeing dead center in the toilet. Like it was probably hitting toward the back or something.

I lazily made an on-the-spot adjustment but apparently it was in the wrong direction because the sound changed from porcelain combined with splashy water to only porcelain. Wherever I was peeing it was no longer in the toilet. It was all over the back of the bowl or something. I couldn't tell. I couldn't see anything. I'm still half-asleep and for whatever reason I assumed I was peeing to the back and left of the toilet so I adjusted again and sort of realigned right centerish. And heard no more porcelain... after that, all I heard was floor.

Peeing on my own floor snapped me wide awake and I finally wrestled things back to the center again and finished up-- but I was so pissed at myself! (so to speak) As soon as things started to go awry I should have shut off the tap and started over again! But I had to be all cocky about it! (so to speak). So lesson learned... If you're ever peeing and it goes wild. Don't assume you know what area of the bowl you're in... (umm... so to speak)... just shut off the tap and start over.

ok bye!


PS. (so to speak) I did clean it up...