Sticky Charity Advice
I really do appreciate the struggle charities have to make money year after year. It's gotta be like highly competitive and all that. Everyone clamoring for their cause. I do have a few charities that I donate or raise money for every year. So I'm booked. The rest of the places are simply out of luck.
There are a few one-time charities that I've donated to. Like around tsunami time I chipped in to Doctor's Without Borders. Then never again. Around Katrina it was a couple different places. One for people. One for animals. Then never again. Same with Christopher Reeve Foundation. Couple others. Whatever. And of course all these places still want mo money from me. And every couple months I get solicitation mail from them. Usually with a guilt-trip gift to prod me to cut a check.
Sometimes I get blank holiday cards as a guilt-gift. A pack of six or so. That's nice. I think Christopher Reeve sent me a calendar or something once. Stuff like that. That stuff is usually worthless to me totally but I usually feel enough guilt that I can't just chuck their "gift" straight in the trash. It has to sit around for a while like leftover chinese food before I feel I'm not straight out wasting it-- eventually I feel I respected the gift enough to demote it to actual garbage.
But lately I've been inundated with one guilt gift. It's like the guilt gift of choice. Mailing labels. Mailing labels! And more mailing labels! I'm sick of the stupid mailing labels! The main reason is... I don't ever use them. I don't need them! How many letters am I mailing these days anyway? I pay most of my bills over the net and the bills I pay with stamps I don't even bother putting a return address on them. I mean if it's a bill going to some corporation what are the chances that that letter is going to bounce back 'Return to sender'? Zero right? What are they gonna move and not tell me? Fine with me! Plus on the rare occasion that letter qualifies for a return address label-- it takes me just as long to scribble my stupid address then dig in some drawer for a label.
I'm sorry Doctor's Without Borders I know you do amazing work but I'm getting at least one batch of mailing labels per month from you! Save your money and buy some more penicillin or something! Or figure out something better to send me! Give me some Val-Pack coupons or something! I like magnets! Cool calculator? Let's get creative about it! Partner up with the Gap and give me a kickback! Something else! Anything else! Just no more mailing labels please. I have enough for a lifetime now thank you. This goes for the rest of you charities who are nutty with mailing labels! From now on they're going straight into the garbage! I'm not gonna feel guilty about it neither! If you wanna work the guilt angle you're gonna have to come at me harder than that!
Yes I know this whole post is jerky and charities have enough trouble without me acting up like a real wang!