The Muffin Dollar Dilemma
So today I was in the muffin shop waiting on line to get coffee and a banana walnut muffin. It was pretty crowded. I get up to the counter and notice down at my feet a dollar bill. I look around and see that the six or so other people standing at the counter have noticed the dollar as well. There was eye contact all around like, 'Yup there's a dollar on the floor with no owner. We see it too.' I ordered my muffin and coffee and stood there over the dollar.
I didn't want to just pick up the dollar and shove it in my pocket because that seemed like crude or something. It obviously definitely wasn't my dollar. I just got there. But I didn't want to be the dweeb goody goody dope who picks a dollar up off the floor and announces to the whole place, 'Did anyone lose a dollar? I found a dollar!' That would be weird...
So us muffin people all stood around waiting on our coffee or whatever glancing at the orphaned dollar. No one was going for it. Because it was in front of me I felt like the situation was my responsibility. I wanted the dollar (of course) but it wasn't mine. But I didn't feel it would be right to just walk away from it too. That would be like me saying, 'Whatever with the dollar. I don't need it. I'm a gazillionaire. You peasants can have the dollar.' I mean, who doesn't like dollars? Especially free ones! Why shouldn't it be mine? Someone's gonna have it...
Finally I got a good idea. I bent down and picked up the dollar. With my intuitive ESP I could hear the mental voices of the muffin people saying, 'Ooh! Look at that jerk! He's going for the dollar! That dollar that isn't his! Morally questionable! Morally questionable! (but the voices were mixed in with jealousy over the fact that I had the guts to pick up the dollar and make a tidy profit.) But then, wham! I pulled a reversal on everyone's thoughts by putting the dollar straight into the tip jar on the counter. Done and done!
I looked around at my muffin people and they all looked at me with a respectfulness. No one gets the dollar. That was fair. And I mentally nodded at them saying, 'That's how you deal with that situation, fellow muffineers. Now go back to your muffining.'