Roscoe's Reverse Sneezing
So last night around 3AM I was totally asleep dreaming of boobs when all of a sudden Roscoe jumped into my bed. He was freaking out! He was doing this crazy breathing snorting thing! It was like he couldn't breathe right! He looked scared! Sucking in air and breathing it out! All loud! Total weird like asthma situation or something! He was looking at me like, 'What's going on!?' I was like, 'Dude! I don't know! You tell me! You're the one that's doing it! WTF!' He just kept snorting like mental and breathing out all hard.
I sat up in bed and stared at him totally helpless. Watching his desperate breathing. I start thinking I'm going to have to rush Roscoe to the 24 hour vet place down the street (totally lucky with that btw). I wondered if I should just grab him and go now but I didn't even want to move him. I thought maybe I should put on my pants to get ready. But I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't want to leave him. He just kept snorting with his nose like totally weird and frantic. Hard to describe. He kept moving closer and closer to me like he wanted to be up against me-- and it was hurting my heart.
My mind is racing. I'm thinking... Oh no! dormant genetic defect clicked in! Or allergic reaction! Or heart attack! Or maybe he's choking! Is this is how dogs choke? Is there dog CPR? Dog heimlich!? I was mad at myself for skimming those health sections in my dog books!
After a minute or so the breathing started calming down. He got less snorty. It was going away. Less breathy. Less snorty. Then normal. He seemed ok. I thanked god and stuff. After he was in the safe zone and he went back to sleepyland-- I jumped out of bed and started googling around for that friggin dog weirdness. I needed to know WTF was that like immediately!! (Still the best thing about the internet).
I was so happy to find it's something called 'Reverse Sneezing'. (It was totally it). And it's no big deal. Just a weird dog thing.
Here's a link on the Purina site.
Phew. Totally. But I couldn't get back to sleep. My adrenaline had me wide awake. So I went on the couch and watched some Breaking Bonaduce and other junk for an hour or so before heading back into bed... and falling asleep next to my endlessly weird dog.... who was sleeping soundly....thank dog god.