When Being Good Sucks
So today I had to mail some stuff out. A DVD to someone. A book to someone else etc. Long overdue stuff that needed to be mailed. There's a new mailbox etc type place right down the street but I can't go there anymore. We sort of had words last time I was in there and I refuse to go back. (Long story short about all that below.)*
Anyway, now I have to walk like 15 friggin blocks to the other mail place which sort of sucks but whatever. I get to the place, take out my stuff, slap post-its notes with my smile faces on the three things, grab three bubble envelopes and pack em all up. I write up the mailing stickers, stick em on, and bring them to the counter.
I'm sort of annoyed because the bubble envelopes are like $2.50 each. Total ripoff. $7.50 for those things! But whatever. I needed them. The guy rings up the mailing costs of the stuff... but I suspect that he didn't ring up the bubble envelopes the stuff was in. He didn't notice the envelopes were from the store or whatever. I was going to say something- but didn't. The thief in me clamped my mouth shut on pointing it out. It felt tingly sneaky. On the way toward the door I look at the receipt to confirm my envelope score. Sure enough, no envelopes on the receipt. A $7.50 savings! Swish!
That's when the Goodie Goodie in my mind started in. This conversation in my head took less than ten seconds max:
Goodie Goodie in my brain goes, 'Ahem. Forgetting something?
I'm like, 'No! No! Don't start this... please don't start... let's just go. Let's just go! It's cool! It's cool!'
And the Goodie Goodie goes, 'Oh very cool. Stealing is very cool. Ask any criminal.'
And I'm like, 'C'mon! It was their mistake! Sort of! It's not even a crime! Barely! Just let me go!'
Goodie Goodie was like, 'That's fine. Enjoy your "free" envelopes. But if one of those packs gets lost in the mail, you'll know why. Karma. That's why.'
And I'm like, 'Don't bust out karma at me over this! This is nothing! It's three way overpriced envelopes! They were ripping me off, really! They're the crooks!'
And Goodie Goodie is like, 'Right. Go ahead. But if something bad happens... to something... somewhere... it's just a little universal payback. $7.50 worth...'
And I'm like, 'Please don't make me go back there. The counter guy is just some teenager. I don't want to look like a big pussy who's scared to steal!'
And Goodie Goodie goes, 'Big pussy? Or honest person with good karma. Which would you rather be..?.'
I growled inside and went back up to the counter. I humiliatingly pointed out that he didn't charge me for the envelopes. The teenager gave me a sort of half-eyeroll and rang it up. And I paid him his money for the stupid envelopes and left.
To be honest, on a different mood day I probably could have made it out the door with the stolen envelopes. But with the holidays coming up and all the year-end pressure I was extra vulnerable to Goodie Goodieness. And to be honest, I simply didn't want to continue the conversation in my head. It would kept going for 15 blocks probably easy. And it was worth the $7.50 bucks to just friggin shut Goodie Goodie the hell up.
*(Long story not short enough, last time I went there to mail something and buy post-it notes and they told me they only order post-it notes for sale in bulk. (Not even real post-it notes btw. They were like 'United Ink Glue Paper Squares' or something). Like a 25 pack of em or whatever. I was like, 'Huh?' She told me she doesn't order post-its in small packs. If I wanted them I had to buy them in a 25 pack! WTF! I asked if I could just have a few to put on the stuff I was mailing. She told me no and offered a 'scrap of paper'. I was like, "What?!" I questioned her post-it policy and she acted like I was being a big jerk. I got annoyed because for the life of me I couldn't understand why they wouldn't sell normal sized packs of post-its! Or single packs! Or offer one here or there to customers who are mailing stuff! WTF! It was a new store and I was trying to help but they didn't want my help! And they were rude about it! So that's that with that place..)