Taking a Stand on Standing in Line
I've never been a "cool" bar go-er kind of guy. Cool bars have never been my scene. (Plus, if I'm at one it's pretty much guaranteed it ain't 'cool' anymore anyway-- because really if it is a 'cool' bar... how did I get in anyway?).
Sometimes I'll read in US Weekly or whatever that so and so celeb dunce was seen leaving this bar or that bar in Manhattan. It's like, Ooh! Joe Dickface and Emma Scunt were seen drinking Grey Goose at 'Skrotum'? No way! Suzy Dummi was spotted at 'Jizzi' making out with Robby Wangwigglio. Where? Whatever? What? Usually I've never heard of the place at all.
I haven't been in a Manhattan 'cool' bar in ages. It's not like I've grown out of them. I've just never fit into them in the first place. And I've always sort of resented them too. They've always felt like, 'Oh cool! Can I really wait at a bar for 15 minutes awash in blasting music and get ignored by a penisface bartender just to order a beer that costs $8.00 and give a $10 and not even be respected enough by the bartender to bring me change? Please? Can I? Awesome! Then can I sit there nursing my beer looking around and wondering why everyone's jeans look different than mine and feel humiliated for wearing a shirt that has color?' No thanks. I'd rather sit in a half-empty pub and eat nuts and watch the TV screen with the sound off-- but that's just me.
Anyway, the other night it was raining out and I was in a cab and we passed by some apparently 'cool' bar. People were waiting in line to get in. In the rain! It's one thing I guess if it's a dance club and you love to dance and they play good music. Wait away. At least you're waiting on line for something. But when it's just a 'bar' I don't get how people have the patience to wait on a line behind the rope. To throw themselves at the mercy of the all-powerful bouncer douche? Who shows preference to criminals? To finally get in and get ripped off boozewise by a place that respects you so much they make you wait in the rain in the first place? Sometimes they'll even charge you for the privilege at the door!? For me? Pass.
As we passed by the poor drenched hipsters I realized right then and there that I've waiting on my last line for a "bar". Never again. (Not that I have in a long time but it's not a possibility anymore.) Regardless of where it is or who's inside or what's 'scene' is in there. Because I can't imagine whatever is going on in there... is better than the "scene" next door that lets me walk right in and sit down-- and a smiling face puts a cocktail napkin in front of me and asks me what I'd like...
But then again... I'm a dork.
PS. Is it on line or in line anyway?