Phone Trust Obsession

So I have phone paranoia. Mainly it's based around call waiting. Like if someone calls me while I'm on the phone and I click over and tell them I'll call them back then click back to the person I was originally talking to--- I have this sneaky suspicion that the other person is still on the line somehow. Like when I clicked back over I brought them with me and they're secretly listening. Like I accidentally conferenced them in.

I know it's far fetched or whatever but if I think someone is listening in secret I can't stop thinking about tit. So I'll tell the person I'm talking to that I have to call them back because I'm paranoid and I want to 'clear' the line. And if I'm hanging out in my place with someone and someone calls me on the phone, after I hang up I get paranoid that the phone isn't totally hung up and I'll pick up the handset and re-test the dial tone to make sure it's not still connected.

Anyway, I've been slowly trying to ween myself off this particular brand of paranoia. I don't even have three-way on my phone! And of course when I hit the power off on my phone... the phone does go off. It's never been on when I've tested it. Not once! It doesn't help that once in a while I'll get a 'ghost call' from someone (when their cellphone somehow calls me but they have no idea... like rattling around in their pocketbook or whatever and they record for a couple minutes.)

OK. So here's the story now that I got that blabble babble out of the way.

The other day I called someone and left a message on their voicemail. I was sort of pissed at them for whatever reason. I snapped the phone shut and started talking smack about them to someone who was over. (they sort of deserved it. i'm not just a dick.) Anyway, I'm talking smack and my friend starts chiming in on the person too and we go on and on like two high school girls talking smack. Then out of my pocket I hear a voicemail lady voice say (on speaker), 'You have reached the maximum time limit for recording.'. I grab my cell and stare at it and see the speaker phone has been on the whole time! Recording us! Somehow when I snapped it shut... speakerphone went on!

I felt sick. We were just recording all this smack! On their voicemail! The voicemail lady said, 'Press ONE to send. TWO to listen'...  I pressed two and listened to the message-- and sure enough I heard our voices! I was like, 'Oh no!!' So in some kind of panic for whatever reason-- I hit POUND and voicemail lady said, 'Your message has been sent.' I was like, 'NOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!' Why'd I hit pound!? WHY! I had the delete option in there! I choked! I choked on the delete!

Anyway, this person hasn't said anything to me about the recording-- so there's a chance they didn't listen to the message all the way through. There was probably a 5-10 second delay before the trash talking started-- so hopefully they just erased it and didn't hear the smack-- and we're all cool de la there.

The problem is... this does friggin wonders for my original paranoia problem. With any OCDish thing I think one reinforcement will mess you up for years and years... and this done did.


ok bye!