Walked Far, Saw Signs, Lied to Cop
So over the weekend I got all motivated and I walked over the Brooklyn Bridge to do stuff in Manhattan. Brought my new camera with me!
Here's Roscoe on the bridge:
(Don't make fun of his new haircut. He got matted with all the rain and stuff and they had to give him a crew cut.)
Here's Roscoe pre-crewcut down. (Seen here making doody.)
On the bridge we ran in to this mob of marchers.
I think they were marching for multicultural unity or something.
Saw lots of weird signs in and around the city yesterday.
What does it mean 'wants to'? For me maybe 'already does'.
Posted by a crazy or posted about a crazy?
Never really understood this. Understand it less on the front of a van.
I bet the people who live upstairs don't even bother locking their door.
I took this last night not far from my house. Apparently 'Eggie' didn't make someone happy around there...
You know you're pissed at Eggie when you spray paint this all over your friggin place...
Smog around liberty! A lame metaphorical sign!
Anyway, speaking of liberty (cough) Apparently 'The Man' doesn't like dogs on the subway. It's illegal. But once in a while, I'll bring Roscoe on the subway anyway! To stick it to the Man, man! Dog discrimination! (Every time I've brought Roscoe onboard nobody seems to care and most people get a kick out of it.)
But yesterday I headed into the subway to head home and as soon as I passed through the turnstile a cop came over to me.
Here's how the conversation went:
Officer: Scuse me, sir.
Officer: Are you aware you can't bring an animal into the subway? Unless it's in a carrier...
Me: Oh, no I wasn't aware of that...
(Roscoe): Aw man! Why is the Man hassling us, man?! I'm just a squirrel just trying to get a nut!!!... when I get home... the squirrel being a dog... being me... and the nut... being a snausage.... or similar treat....
Officer: You weren't aware you can't bring a dog down into the subway?
Me: Umm... no.
Officer: Where are you from?
(Where am I from? Uh oh. Deer in headlights stupid. Think fast brain! If I say, 'Brooklyn' it would be obvious I knew you can't bring dogs in the subway. Who doesn't know that! Logic tripswitches went off in my mind combined with nervousness. Think damn you think! Don't say something stupid!)
Me: I'm from.... out of town.
Officer: Out of town?
(Roscoe): What a dope.
Officer: ID please...
(Oh no! I just lied to a cop! My license says Brooklyn! I said out of town! Like an idiot! I'm going to jail and my head is gonna get slammed on a metal sink!) I take out my wallet and give it to the cop.
Officer: Says here Brooklyn...
Me: Right... out of town... out of... the town.... of Manhattan... over in the town of.. Brookl....
Officer: Sir. I'm going to write you a summons for bringing an animal onto the subway.
I stuff my hands in my pockets.
Officer: Sir please take your hands out of your pockets!
I take my hands out of my pockets.
(Roscoe): I wish I had pockets. I'd keep snausages in there.
Me (mumble): Sorry that I not 100% honest before sir... I apologize for um...
Officer (ignoring my mumbles): Phone number. Social security number.
I give him all the info and he hands me the ticket. Then he throws me and Roscoe out of the subway...
I looked at the ticket going up the stairs. I was nervous about how much the ticket would cost me. For all I knew in NYC this could be $175 fine (or more?) or something wacky. I look at it and was relieved I didn't get whomped on the head financially by the Man! (who turned out to be a nice man...)
Here's the ticket:
(Roscoe): Aw man! Don't pay that mess! Fight the Man! Don't give in to their 'rules'!
Me: Quiet, you.
Don't lie to cops. Pretty sure he gave me the ticket because I was a big liar...