Succumbed to Body Wash
I'm an Ivory soap guy for the most part. Sometimes when I get bored I'll branch out. Occasionally I'll dabble in a Coast or a Lever 2000. Those seem ok. Usually I'll just rotate those three depending on how I feel. I'm not big on smells so my soap life is pretty simple. I don't do much with cologne or sprays of any kind because I have a bad sense of smell-- and I have no idea what's supposed to smell good. And whenever I get involved with any smells in a store, after smelling a couple smells all the smells just smell like... smell.
Anyway, today I was in the drug store wandering around like a dope and I saw there was a whole section of body wash. I've never really done a body wash thing but they seem to be pushing it pretty hard nowadays. But I don't really understand why I'd want to do body wash over soap. Soap just seems easier. But I started smelling the body wash stuff to see what I was missing. Old Spice Red Zone! Irish Spring IcyBlast! Axe TouchMyWang! I started to feel the temptation of going for a body wash. Trying something new. Maybe I'd like it? Maybe it would be refreshing? Shake up my shower situation! Yeah! I decided I was gonna get one!
I went nutty smelling all the different smells until my head was filled with just one big smelly blur. I couldn't decide what smelled the best. So I decided to go with whatever bottle looked best to me. I bought Adidas Sport Body Wash. I think I liked it best because it was blue. Plus it seemed like the type of thing you wash with after a hard workout-- so I figured there was a chance it would motivate me to be more sporty... or at least pretend I am? Yes, I realize that body wash is not the ideal starting point toward motivation to exercise.
I get home and get naked and jump in the shower to try on my new product. I pop it open and start smearing this goop all over me and right away I noticed it smelled really strong. I wasn't all that psyched for it. And I didn't feel particularly sporty. Plus it washed off too easily too. I didn't like the slimy consistency. I was missing my soap lather and the spinning of the soap in my hands. I looked at the bottle. Adidas?! WTF! Adidas is a shoe company! Why was I buying their body wash again? Why would I think a stinky shoe company would know how to even make this stuff? I don't really like scents... so why would I buy a scent I couldn't even smell properly at the store? What was my disconnect? What overwhelmed my brain and forced me to buy it? I wanted to go back to my old-fashioned Ivory but Ivory apres Adidas would be a bad clash.
But whatever. I'm out of the shower now sitting here writing this in my towel and I keep smelling my arm to see how I smell. I guess I smell ok. I smell like something. That's for sure. Sporty? But I'm noticing more that my inner thighs are sorta of itchy and so are my underarms. Maybe I'm feeling the sporty burn? Gah! I'm itchy!! I'm serious!! I just itched my sides! I think I'm having some sort of friggin allergic reaction!-- either to the body wash... or the fact that I was just was a consumer of the worst kind. One or the other...
I can smell it all over me.