Stuff I Decided Not to Write About
So this weekend nothing really happened that was write-about-able so I started digging in my head for other stuff to write about. Stuff that happened a while ago or stuff I forgot or whatever.
I thought about writing about this one time at camp (not band camp) where I was taking kayak lessons and we were learning how to roll a kayak and I got stuck in the kayak upsidedown and panicked and almost drownded myself. I had the bubbles going and everything in a total panic. But I finally got free and swam out and was ok. I was probably only underwater for like 10 seconds total and was fine. Not a great story.
Then I thought about writing about this time back in high school when me and a bunch of friends smashed up an abandoned car with bats and rocks. It was totally abandoned for months in the corner of this parking lot (four flat tires) so we had fun smashing out the headlights and stuff. It was a Sunday so the lot was basically empty. And we were busy smashing and this woman pulled in screaming at us that we were vandals or whatever. We argued that the car was abandoned and that we weren't doing anything wrong. Like that made it right... She sped off threatening to call the cops so we got out of there. But... not a great story.
So then I started thinking about work stuff and I had a bunch of stories from when I worked at Haagen Dazs. And how the cake maker was like 7 foot tall with a big beard was very involved with the boy scouts and he used to wear a scout master uniform that was like five times too small. And it was weird. And how there was this one other dude who used to do this contest where he put his forearms together (palms up) and someone drops a lit cigarette in the groove inbetween. Someone else does it too. And the first person to separate their arms loses. He had like burn lines all over the inside of his arms. He scared me a little but he was a nice guy. He did alot of whip-its. But not a great story there.
Then I was gonna talk about how I was upset because I need a new mattress because mine has gone all concave-like (or convex?) and how I hate buying stuff to replace stuff that I already have. And then I was gonna write about how I'm always caught off guard by my toe nails. Like all of a sudden they're all long like Howard Hughes. Then I was gonna rant about how I am pissed that I refuse to charge my cellphone. Like I'll walk by it at night and my little voice will say... plug that in? And I'll walk by it and be like, 'I'll just charge it in the morning...' Like it's some kind of big job. And it's always on two bars.
And then I was gonna write some stuff about some other stuff which was even less interesting that that stuff. I mean I can always pull out a Roscoe story like when I was giving Roscoe a bath and have to wash his wiener and its embarrassing for both of us or how Roscoe thinks all asian women in stores will give him a treat because a couple neighborhood stores are run by asian women always give treats. So when he sees an asian woman he seems to be extra friendly to them and pulls toward them. Just a theory I guess. But not really a story...
And that's the story with all that.