I've been living in this neighborhood for 4 or 5 years but for whatever reason the birds-eye view of my neighborhood has never clicked into my brain. I walk around a mile radius of my apartment all the time but I still get confused as to where actual streets are-- or how many blocks away things are. I couldn't tell you the names of the streets two away from my house.
So today I was walking Roscoe in the friggin rain waiting for him to make a doody and some Russian-y guy with no umbrella came walking up to me and asked me if I knew where "Joralemon Street" was. (It's pronounced 'Jur-al-emon' but the Russian said 'Jure-A-lemon') I knew Joralemon was around there somewhere. I looked up the street and back down the street to get my bearings. I wasn't sure exactly. The voice in my head was like, 'C'mon dude! You've been living here for years! You don't know where Joralemon is?! You walk by it almost everyday!' Then it started laughing at me. It called me "stupidhead!" I yelled back, 'Yes jerk! Of course I know where it is!'
And for whatever reason I told the Russian I thought it was a few blocks up the street. (I was 'almost positive'.) I wanted to help! He seemed to be in a hurry (rushing russian lol!) and started jogging up toward "Joralemon Street" as the rain started to come down even harder. He was already soaked.I walked two blocks down the street... and hit Joralemon. I was like, 'Ohh yeahhh... Joralemon... There you are.... Ha... hey...What are you doing here?' I felt like I just bumped into an old friend that I had just badmouthed..
The rain was really coming down and looked back up the street wondering what my foreign friend was doing. Maybe he's on block three in the wrong direction? Running faster? Thanks to me? Did he go for four? Five? I did say 'a few' blocks. How far would he go until he asked someone else? And when he found he had to double back...what would his rage level be for the nice guy with the dog? 63? 78!?
Roscoe took the moment to make a doody right on the corner of Joralemon-- and I rushed rushed to pick it up and get the hell out that area. I didn't need some crazed soaked mad Russian coming after me at 11AM in the morning because my stupid brain called me out on being stupid! That's no excuse! You can't blame your brain! But I made a mental note to remind myself that when it comes to giving directions... I don't know which way is up...