Stock Symbol: ASS

So the other night I was sitting at a bar waiting for someone and eavesdropping on a conversation that made me mental. Some dude was bragging about some money he made on some stock. He was acting all smart and stuff-- like he really knew for a fact that the company was undervalued etc...

Ok, I don't own any stock because my money is currently tied up in Visa (which converts my money into squeaky dog products and unnecessary electronic devices) but I'm getting tired of people crowing how well a particular stock they have is doing. Dudes walking around all feeling master of universey. Acting like they did the math and made a very informed decision on stock symbol DIK or whatever. It's one thing to be happy to be in the market. Good for you! It's another thing to be all puffy about some individual stock investment going up. Like they are some kind of super smart inside track investor.

Guess what you stock jockey jerk! You didn't know your stock was "definitely" going up. The whole stupid stock market is way up! That's why it's up! It's a crap shoot! Do you really believe you understand the financial inner workings of a major corporation to know what $5 on a stock price means?! Cut the bullshit with the "I think it's due for a five-point pop", Bud Fox! You didn't know anything about that one stock besides the fact that you like the company's logo! You think you really know if a giant corporation is under or overvalued? You don't know the difference between two billion and four billion! Stop with the trash talk! How bout I walk around and start talking how I know how to be a brain surgeon because watched a youtube video about surgery on the interwebs!?

Yes yes... I know there are some investments that are smarter than others. Bonds, CDs, whatever this that... I get it! (no i don't) Yes, some stockbrokers might know stuff (maybe. but if they really know so much--- why are they working?). And there are people who invest in the stock market because it's a good place to invest. (I think the whole thing is a shaky house of cards pyramid scheme for rich people.) Blah blah etc... Just puhleese drop the bragging bullshit on an individual stock .You got lucky and you know it! Now shut your stupid head about your good fortune... before you go and jinx yourself.

ok bye!