An Open Letter to Roscoe Regarding the Doody on the Floor

Dear Roscoe,

Today I headed into the city for a few hours and when I got home I noticed that somebody made a doody on the floor.

I'm not pointing any fingers. I'm not accusing anyone. All I know is when I left the house there was no doody on the floor and when I returned there was doody on the floor. I appreciate the fact that whomever made the doody was courteous enough to make it on the kitchen floor and not on a carpet-- but regardless it still was surprising for me to come home and see a doody in the kitchen. When I go in the kitchen you may have noticed that I make a cup of coffee or I make some eggs but I never make a doody on the floor. This is kitchen rule #1.

Also, when I returned home you gave me a welcome as if there was nothing wrong and there was no doody on the floor. As if the smell of the doody wasn't an immediate giveaway that somebody had made doody somewhere. But you showed no sign of awareness that there was a doody nearby. Did you really think I could walk in the kitchen and not notice a doody on the floor? Did you think if you ignored the doody on the floor that this was the same thing as no doody on the floor? FYI: Regardless of any situation-- people tend to notice doody on the floor.

Now, I cleaned up the doody and sprayed the kitchen floor with Lysol and there's no doody harm done. But I would appreciate it if you know whomever did in fact make a doody on the floor to please speak with them and let them know that it isn't "cool" to make doody on the floor in this house. If the doodymaker had an emergency situation and couldn't hold their doody, I apologize for that-- but perhaps, that doodymaker should have thought of that and made a doody while they were walking around outside for a half-hour this morning busy with everything... except making a doody.

But this is all doody under the bridge. I just wanted to let you know that I noticed the doody on the floor... and it has been doody noted.


The Management