Yellow Pages! Give It Up!
So yesterday I come-a-walkin home and thrown all over every stoop are five copies of the stupid Yellow Pages. Horrible. Mine goes straight into the recycling bin. And no matter what five copies will end up in the recycling bin. Because even if my landlord keeps the "new" one and uses it-- he'd be throwing out the old one. So it's definitely 5 stupid Yellow Pages in the bin straight away.
When I looked around at the neighborhood at the hundreds and hundreds of brick-like Yellow Pages loitering all over everyone's stoop like old drunks-- I got sort of pissed. Because I figure a solid 80% of people have permanently ditched the Yellow Pages for the internet. At least, right? And it's obvious that Yellow Pages are running on the financially fumes of yesteryear and choking us with this out-dated inconvenience as a side effect. Somehow they've been renewing the ads year after year and keeping things going. Probably bragging about how their book reaches thousands and thousands of homes-- when reality it goes into thousands and thousands of recycling bins.
It's enough already, Yellow Pages. You're a waste of paper and a waste of trees. It's over. The interwebs has stomped all over you and your presence on our stoops is no longer needed. Maybe if you took the energy into developing a website that doesn't suck-- you might even appreciate not having to lug around these old books like some kind of crotchety vacuum cleaner salesman from 1950. I'm sorry to be harsh on you, Yellow Pages. We've had some good times together-- but I just had to schlep your book upstairs to my hallway and then on Friday I gotta schlep it back downstairs and send it away. As will I'm sure most of my neighbors. All annoyed at the waste of energy.
Stop it already with this nonsense! Give people a heads up and a choice if they want to see you anymore. Send a postcard before shipping them out asking which homes would like a copy and then only deliver to them. Make those people happy. The rest of us have friggin had enough...