Tipping Points

So last night I ordered some sushi and went to pick it up. The bill came to $18.40. I gave the girl a twenty and she asked if I needed change. I was like, 'Umm... Yes please...?' Isn't that's how it works when you buy take-out food and give more money than it's worth? You get some money back? No? When she brought my change I kind of felt like I was stiffing her on a tip. I maybe even picked up on a little attitude on the handoff. Like too much of an indelicate change giving...

But it's something that I'm starting to pick up on. I think people are either tipping when they pick up food or now restaurants are starting to expect a tip of sorts. Like when I pay by credit card the receipt has the tip line blank and it's up to me draw a line through the tip space--  and write in the total. I don't think it used to be that way. I sort of remember just signing and it being all totaled up-- but maybe I'm hazy on that. I guess with people expecting tips for everything it's starting to spill completely over into previously non-tipping zones.

Which also reminds me of a couple extra things tip-wise!

Hey! If I order take-out food to be delivered and it's $10 worth of food. I'll give a couple bucks. If it's $30+ I'll give five or whatever depending on whatever. But is it 15% on delivery standard? What's the rule? Shouldn't the real influence be weather and distance? Like if a pizza guy goes five miles for a $20 pizza-- shouldn't he get more than the chinese food guy down the street who brings $40 worth? Why should the cost of food come into account for the delivery person? Because of the weight? I guess the more the merrier. No?

And I still am unclear on why chicks seem obligated to give like their hairdresser a Christmas bonus. I'm happy that they get bonuses-- don't get me wrong. Fortunately I don't have that problem because I don't have a 'hair dresser' I have a 'head shaver' and there's like five guys who work in there. I might give an extra tip to whomever does the shave around the holidays? But are all those dudes expecting money from me? (They laugh at me so screw them). But for chicks it seems like if you're in there every few weeks getting your hair did-- you're giving them business all year? That's a nice chunk of change for that business! Shouldn't it be up to the owner of the salon to take care of their workers? And shouldn't they be getting you something for all that good business you give them? When did that flip?

Yeah! And there is a woman who does Roscoe's haircuts and I'm feeling like she falls under the umbrella of people to tip. What do I give that lady? $25? $50? More? A gift? I guess I gotta do something. And I live in an apartment building that's owned by my landlord. I feel like he is responsible to tip the mailman because it's his house. But then I feel like maybe I should chip in too. But how much? What's insulting? What's overboard? Who qualifies and who doesn't? There's should be a friggin google search for tipping! And they should call it Tipoogle! Tipoogle.com! 

ok bye!

PS. I'm not cheap btw! And I'm not a scrooge! I'm really not! I spend every cent I have like a real Grade-F stupid! I just want to know where the lines are!