Middle Seat Pressure Point
So I'm in California! Just a last minute trip to try and make something stick. Anyway, because I booked stuff online all last minute --all that was left were middle seats. Uch. I went mental with the idea of sitting in a middle seat for over 5 hours because my legs are all sorts of long and I also nod off sideways sometimes and that's no fun for the people around me. (Personally, I always like the window seat. I don't even understand how people ever choose aisle over window. Is that strictly a bathroom thing or something? I mean why sit on the aisle getting your feet runned over by carts and walk-by dickheads banging your elbow non-stop? Why not just be cozy by the window with your friggin head against the wall...)
Anyway, I got to the airport extra early to beg the check-in person to change my seat. The flight was booked but the dude offered me an aisle seat. I was like, 'Yes please! God of seats! Gimme! Anything but middle!' And he gimme-d it. I was pretty pumped. No middle seat!
I go happily strolling down the aisle with my bag and my book and... (Oh! by the way, book publisher people! No more fkin giving away major plot points that are over 100 pages in on the jacketflap or backcover! I don't need to know there's a murder 100 fkin pages in! Spoilers right on your bookcover!? FU! Enough of that crap!) ...I walk to my seat and this chick behind me tells me she has the middle seat and she should get in our row first. I look back at her and she was cute! Way! I was psyched! I was gonna get to sit next to a cute chick! But then she turns to the guy behind her and says, 'Honey, which seat is yours?' I was like, 'Uch she's with that dude!! No possible mile high club membership... Again!'
Turns out his seat was in the row behind us-- so I offered to switch to be a nice guy. They weren't sitting together and I didn't want to be sitting next to his girl like a dope. But he had a middle seat too. They both had middle seats. He apologetically admitted he had a middle seat-- so the offer on the table for me was switching my hard fought aisle seat for his terrible middle seat! To be nice! I looked at the girl and she smiled at me and shrugged. But I resented it! This was a 5+ hour flight! I turned up extra early to get a non-middle seat! Because these two goofballs couldn't organize seats side by side I gotta be punished?! I was like, 'F-that!' And I sort of shrugged to both of them and apologized telling them I really gotta keep my aisle seat.
I was proud of myself! I didn't immediately fold and sacrifice! I stood up for myself and my aisle seat! I plopped down and got all my crap out of my bag and settled in. I smiled at the chick and she sorta smiled back. I opened my book and read one sentence before the awkwardness of my choice started setting in. Was I really gonna sit next to this chick for 5 hours feeling like a selfish dick who couldn't make a simple sacrifice with a seat change? On top of it, they were both really nice about asking-- so I couldn't even latch on to them being a-holes to do an override. I sat in silence gauging my level of uncomfortableness. It was their fault for screwing up their plans! I didn't want the middle seat! But soon enough I realized that I couldn't stand the idea of sitting there feeling like a tool-- and offered up my seat to the guy. I just couldn't take 5+ hours of questionability awkwardo-style.
So I sat in the stupid middle seat the whole flight watching these two loverbirds snuggle and giggle while I had hardcore elbow fights with some iphone dick sitting next to me-- which actually was probably a more comfortable level of uncomfortableness for me in the long run.