Two Hard to Describe Annoying Things

Ok! Here's one!


So I rented a car today to drive on out to visit the nephews and niece and gang. Roscoe of course comes along. He super digs riding in the car. All I gotta say while we're walking along is...'Wanna go for a ride?' And he starts pulling like a stupid sled dog choking himself and stopping short at random cars wondering if that's the one we're gonna get in.

Anyway, I rent this Saturn whatchamacallit and we take off. Once we start going I roll down the back window for him (well it's not 'roll' down the window... roll is old school. like clicker is for remote control. but what is it when you electrically roll down a back window? put down the window? send down? is there a word for that? no? here's one! Zoop. Zoop down the window. Boom done. New word!) Anyway, I zoop down the window and Roscoe sticks his head out like a big dork who just won the Wind in his Face lottery and everything is fine... until we get to 40 miles an hour or whatever-- and I hear the dreaded wind thumping.

With certain cars I don't know what it is but they don't process wind properly when the window is down. Like there's some thudding like a flat tire wind style. It's aerodynamicallyfukt or something. And it makes me mental because it doesn't have to be that way! Some cars don't have the thumping when you zoop down the window! Don't they test these cars before they go making thousands of them? Doesn't some engineer guy hear the thumping and flag it? (Does anyone even know what I'm talking about?) Sure, sometimes I can zoop down another window which sometimes cancels it out. But I shouldn't have to! Hey car stupids! Fix the thudthumps I zoop down the window!

And here's two!


With my TV I have a cable box DVR and a remote control that 'technically' is supposed to turn on the DVR and my TV. There are two buttons on that remote at the top. 'Power' and 'System On/Off' and although I've had this system for friggin years-- I still can't figure out how to turn on my TV system consistently! Sometimes the Power button just turns on the TV-- but the DVR stays off. Then I hit the other button and the TV goes off but the DVR goes on. Then I hit Power and they both go off. Then it gets confused. So I go back and forth on the buttons alternating turning one off and one on until I'm mental. It's like a bad game that I hate playing and lose every time! I just want them both ON! Usually I end up groping for the old TV set remote control and use the power button on that old thing!

Why can't they figure out a one button system on the stupid remote? Why do I need 'Power' and 'System on/off' anyway?! What's the difference? One button! On/Off! Everything ON! And everything OFF! I'm not a stupid idiot! (At least I assume I'm not. And I assume most stupid idiots do. Uh oh.) But I know things! And one thing I know is I don't know how to turn my flippin TV on with the stupid clicker!!!... I mean remote control!!

ok bye!