The New Five Accusation
So yesterday I was in the bagel place getting me a bagel with scallion cream cheese (and a mini bagel for Roscoe. Lucky dog.). With my change the bagel lady gave me one of the new Five dollar bills. I was psyched! I hadn't seen the new design yet. I immediately started checking it out. Flipping it over and back to see the differences or whatever. I dunno. I get excited for new bills.
The bagel lady told me not to worry because 'It's real'. I told her that I knew that. Then I held it up to the light to look for the secret Mason messages or whatever and they lady snaps at me, 'I'm telling you that bill is fine!' I told her I knew that and went back to looking at it in the light. She was like, 'Look. New fives came out this week. That's one of the new bills. I assure you that it's real.' I was like, 'I know I just want to check it out!' She was like, 'If you're really that concerned I can give you another five...'
She turned to another bagel person and all jerkily said, 'This guy doesn't think it's real.' I finally got upset like, 'I know that it's real!!! It's a new five!!!! I get it! I just wanted to look at it!!' She was like, 'Ok ok... you were just examining it so closely...' I was like, 'Yeah! Because it's a new five!!!' I thought she was just busting my chops but the look on her face totally said, 'I'm not a counterfeiter, jerk!'
Maybe not! But her crazy defensiveness was making me have a counter...fit!! Get it? Counter...fit... Like bagel counter... Ok terrible joke.
Whatever! It totally ruined my new bill experience. I went from the happy glee of checking out a new bill to getting in an unnecessary back and forth with the crazy paranoid bagel lady counterfeiter! Gah!
By the way, I don't like the purple..