Ten Random Things I Thought About this Weekend

1. So I tried the hyped up Pikes Place Roast at Starbucks and I thought it tasted like regular old coffee. Again. Sorry Starbucks. You can't go crazy hyping up some 'new' cup of coffay like you gotta try this because it's so awesome and fresh and then not have it be awesome or fresh. And the brown logo is whatevery too.

So here's some ideas for you Jo Jo Starbucks if you wanna make people happy:

1. Stop charging people for wireless access. Whatever crap T-Mobile HotSpot bullshit that is just drop it already. You don't have to make a big announcement about it. It'll just get around via word of mouth. And if you're afraid people will start hanging out in there all day long surfing around. People are doing that anyway.

2. If it's just regular coffee let people just do it themselves. Self-serve. Make the whole thing automated so I can go in grab a cup of coffee and leave. And have a wireless swipe card to pay for it. Some Quik pass thing on a keychain and let me rack of coffay points or some crap. Don't make me stand behind the double soy latte dork in the morning and have to say, 'Grande' for anything.

3. Make all your baked goods local. Your M&M cookies and terrible muffins aren't scoring any points. If you have a particularly neighborhoodish location. Then associate yourself with the favorite bakery. Everyone will be psyched.

4. It's enough with the iTunes flatscreen forcing friggin Jill Sobule down my throat every time I walk in there. And the CDs are getting more stupider too. Do I really need a CD of Bob Dylan's favorite songs? Drop all the crap and stick to a monthly exclusive CD and promote the hell out of it.

5. I still don't know what Ethos water is and I still am not curious.

Shoot that's only one thing! I said I'd do ten in the title of this What's Happening so I better move on... even tho I could go on....


TWO! Hey restaurants! Give nicknames to the wine on your winelist. Why do I need to pretend I speak French for a split second when picking a bottle of wine at random? Gimme a nickname. 'Dry Guy McFruity' or whatever. Oh! And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about when I fumble the pronunciation while pointing at it on the actual menu! You know what I'm going for! And don't correct me like you're smarter than me!

3. I went back and forth on the Wii thinking about whether playing Guitar Hero and Wii Sports or whatever warps kids into thinking everything is easy. And maybe actually demotivating them on the 'real thing' because they can't play Foo Fighters the first time they pick up a real guitar or they can't bowl a strike when bowling. I've decided there is a disconnect there and the interest in the activity outweighs the potential side-effects from the easyness. I support the gaming.

4. Every night around 9PM Roscoe comes over to me and starts barking at me. He doesn't want anything. He just wants to be heard and have some attention. I think he thinks it's conversation. So I'll blow in his face and shove him around and bongo his butt and then jump into bed and throw pillows at him until he gets all barked out. Then I stuff a bunch of treats into an old sneaker and let him try and get em out. This is every night.

5. I believe the foundation for the improvement of the American economy is based in a new found respect for customer service.

6. I use one of these like split keyboards that are like 'natural' style. Like it's split in the middle or whatever. I love it and I think it's much better for my wrists. When you come over to use my computer don't act like I'm using some kind of stupid keyboard. It's better than the old square ones. It's not awkward for me and I don't care if it's awkward for you.

7. I'm starting to distance myself from regular bar soap and dabbling more and more into shower gels and crap like that. Not sure if I'm gonna go back but I haven't found a shower gel that I really like either. I liked the Irish Spring one but I'm not sure if I'm an Irish Spring guy.

8. I took a train ride out of the city to hang with the family today and I couldn't stop farting the whole ride and the farts were egg bomb terrible and some woman across the aisle shot me a look then moved away. What am I supposed to do? I wasn't sitting next to anyone! So I released some brown clouds! Big whoop! You never smelled bad farts before? Get over it! I'm not holding them in for you, lady! I'll take the shame thank you very much!

9. I downloaded the complete REM catalog in one big download from bittorrent. (I don't feel bad about because I own most of their CDs but haven't ripped them). I relistened to their old CDs and appreciated the fact that I let years go by before an overall relistening. If I could learn bass I think I'd wanna know how to play this song...

10. I bought paint and rollers and stuff to paint my middle room about six weeks ago and I haven't even come close to actually painting. Buying the paint in the first place is an achievement that I'm gonna continue to coast on for a while...

PS. Here's a picture I took of a gorilla. New pics and more zoo pics soon...

ok bye!