I'm NOT Getting a Friggin Cat!

I've never considered getting a cat and nobody has suggested I get a cat. I don't want one.

First off, I already have a dog and I live in an apartment. Roscoe hasn't spent alot of time with cats so I don't even know if they'd get along. I don't need them fighting and chasing each other around in the apartment and knocking lamps over and stuff all day. I'm allergic to cats too and I don't want to have to go out and get shots or whatever just to not be sneezy in my own place! If I did get a cat then I'd have to deal with kitty litter which I'm not a fan of. I don't like "clumps" in any context! And who's to say my dog is smart enough not to eat cat turds as they're produced all day long. That would gross me out. So would his breath. And I wouldn't even know where I'd keep the litterbox because I don't have any place that's sort of out of the way. I don't want that smell in here neither!

If the cat isn't declawed and starts ripping up my stuff I'd be totally pissed at it but I'd feel guilty getting it declawed or whatever-- so then I'd be living in an apartment that's all shredded up? Screw that! I'm not a monkey. I wouldn't want to have to deal with the shedding either. Fortunately my dog doesn't shed so I don't have do deal with that so I would want like a new chore to keep this place clean. And no, I don't want one of those crazy bald cats!

Sure cats can be cute and stuff but what if I got some sort of lemon cat that wouldn't like me and fart all day long and stare at me like it hates me. I'd resent some animal living in my house that wanted nothing to do with me. I feel like having one pet is enough in the city. Plenty actually! As much as I think that cats have an interesting sort of other worldly trippy existence I'm not sure I'm fascinated with them the way I'd need to be. Also, what if the cat was one of those evil cats that sit on your chest and steal your breath! I don't need that kind of paranoia while I sleep! It's like forget it! I want my breath all night thank you! And what if it got out and ran away. I'd be looking for a cat for the next ten years? F that!

Thus, I've come to the conclusion that there is no upside to me to getting a cat! Fortunately, it's not anything that I'm considering for any reason.

ok bye!


PS. Hey! I'm not getting a friggin bird either!!!